SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, June 15, 2006

BOOBY MONSTROSITY


This is absolutely the worst breast implant* I've ever seen. And I've seen LOTS of 'em. Because I'm a porn star. And bikini inspector. And a stripper. And a third level elvin rogue. But I digress.

Apparently, they cast those things in granite now, or possibly lead, with titanium nipple attachments.

They're used in Britain as battering rams to deter unruly crowds.

THEY'RE REALLY, REALLY BIG!

That's all I've got.

*Editor's note: I forgot to mention that this was Victoria Beckham's breast. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter whose crappy tit job it was; if, however, you are a Spice Girls fan, then my apologies. Allow me to say instead that Victoria Beckham has crappy fake boobs, and the Spice Girls make 98 Degrees look like The Rolling Stones.

9 Comments:

Blogger Tranny and/or Zanna said...

It's Tranny;

Goddamn it Cheeks!!! Stop posting pictures of my tits! Or at least show the one I had installed around back, for dancing.

3:44 PM  
Blogger Macius_Sarcasticus said...

Gravity defying uber-orbs.
Now in new bubblegum flavor!!
How posh.

5:10 PM  
Blogger jane's eyre said...

The only time my boobs looked that rock-hard was when they were painfully engorged with milk. Ouch.

5:31 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

My boobs look JUST like that, only my nipples are 7 inches longer. CRAZEE hot!! I look awesome in a wet t-shirt.

9:53 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Love the "tit-shelf". Very handy for storage of remote controls, beer bottles and testicles.

10:08 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

My nipples are 12 inches long and when they become erect they popt out like a switchblade.

10:00 AM  
Blogger jane's eyre said...

Okay, since we're trying to outdo each other on the nipple length,

My nipples are so long that the kids use them for double dutch. HA.

10:04 AM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

I thought my shoe string had come untied, but then I realized I was just stepping on my nipple.

1:14 PM  
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