SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, June 26, 2006

BOY GEORGE REFUSES TO RAKE

Boy George appeared before a New York Criminal Court judge yesterday after failing to perform the five days of community service mandated by his plea bargin.

You may remember that thirteen bags of cocaine were discovered in Boy George's apartment at the time of his arrest in October; however, he avoided the fifteen-year prison sentence for drug posession by pleading guilty to the false burglary charge, paying a fine of $1,000, and agreeing to perform five days of community service to be determined by the court.

After Criminal Court Judge Anthony Ferrara decreed that "raking leaves in a city park" was the designated punishment, Boy George maintained that garishly-painted, cross-dressing former pop stars could not be seen in such public displays of servitude, and that he preferred to work with an AIDS charity instead. His attorney argued on his behalf, saying in all seriousness

[If the Boy George was forced to sweep streets of a park], it would turn into a media circus.
Judge Ferrara then responded,

This is a simple matter. Five days of community service. It's up to [Boy George] as to whether it will be an exercise in humiliation or an exercise in humility. [His] choice.
And what do you think Boy George said to that? You guessed it:
Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry? Do you really want to hu-urt me? Do you really want to make me cry?
Then he spun around with his arms outstretched and his eyes closed.

I pretty much figured that Boy George's entire life was an exercise in humiliation. You know, the face painting, the gayness, the failed musical with Rosie O'Donnell -- all pretty humiliating, any way you cut it. A LOT more humiliating than raking leaves. If he didn't have his face made up like a psychotic geisha-clown all the time, I wouldn't even know who the hell he was, much less create a "circus" around him while he's raking in a park.

6 Comments:

Blogger LadyJane said...

I saw him at Heathrow Airport when I was 13. It was the height of Culture Club's popularity, and I must say, twas VERY thrilling. If I saw him now, I guess I'd have to throw poo at him. Cuz he's a poo-head. No lie.

9:31 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

I don't ever rake leaves without applying 8 pounds of makeup first.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous naughtius maximus said...

Boy George should go to prison for sucking. Of course that is what he would spend most of his time doing in the big house.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

My brother would chant the chamelion song (for years!) Is he possibly gay? I mean I did catch him and his "best buddy" blowing each other but who can tell nowadays...
Personally, I have always hated that freak. Rake the leaves NOW, Bitch!

P.S. Thank you, no COOB posts here!

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy cow! i thought i aready left a "killer klown" reference on the other site.
but that's okay, 'cuz i'm just trying to sign in as a new user here!
sorry. ignore this post.
....hey, y'all

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoops.
okay, ignore me, i'm just trying to log on~!

1:46 AM  

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