SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, June 15, 2006

CARNIE WILSON'S VAGINA BIG AS A HAT


In case you don't have enough body image issues, girls, let me toss one more out there for you: your vagina probably needs some work done. You might want to, say, move it up half a foot or so, and trim the excess from your "beef curtains." Carnie Wilson did it! And if you want to follow closely on the heels of something cool, Carnie is definitely the girl to chase. She told Howard Stern all about her beaver-work yesterday, saying that she had a her "vagina lifted 6 inches" after having gastric bypass surgery. She adds that she "couldn't find her asshole" the first time she went to the bathroom.

Double yikes. I can't imagine why exactly she was looking for her asshole while going to the bathroom. I find that when I'm in the bathroom, my asshole usually does most of the work itself, without my having to find it. Then again, I'm not a shameless lumbering behemoth with a big floppy hat for a puss, either. So, apples and oranges, really. Big, fat, floppy apples and oranges.

5 Comments:

Blogger LadyJane said...

Well, this is the first time I've ever thought about Carnie's vagina. Can't say it was on my top ten favorite things to think about.

10:06 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I'm going to have my vagina lowered and stretched about 8 inches, then I'm going to lay some sod and plant some gardenias which will look great next to the swingset I'm going to install on my left labia.

9:37 AM  
Blogger jane's eyre said...

And was she telling Howard this because...she thought it would turn him on? I'm so confused. And vomiting.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CARNE CON CARNIE

with a side of beef.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, I heard she cut the line at the $9.99 all-you-can-eat-buffet and called some guy a "fat loser" when he gave her some static. To which he responded, "look in the mirror, you asshole!"

5:05 PM  

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