SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, June 15, 2006

CRISTAL TOO GOOD FOR NEGROS


Rapper Jay-Z will no longer be offering a certain high-price champagne at his 40/40 Club in New York. He is heading up the hip-hop community's boycott of Cristal, publicly issuing this statement:
It has come to my attention that the managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud, views the 'hip-hop' culture as unwelcome attention. I view his comments as racist and will no longer support any of his products.
Rouzaud's response to this charge of racism?
I imagine that Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business.
In other words, "I hate black people."

I imagine none of his corporate cronies bothered to tell him that the only people who drink Cristal are black people. In fact, I had never heard of said libation until I stole a Biggie CD from the guy who used to sell me crack.

Black people may have the right to vote and own land, but it'll be a cold day in hell before they're good enough to openly drink Cristal. Forty acres and a mule, my ass.

4 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

This offends me, not as a big, hairy black man, but as an alcoholic. I've noticed on the shelves at the liquor stores every two weeks there's a new drink marketed to black people that's always an uncategorizable mix between a wine cooler, bourbon, and Slurpee. And it's always bright neon in color and has a name like "Xtassi" or "Vixxxen". Yo, B, I be on that Vixxxen man. Straight swerved. I don't need no Cristal.

9:54 AM  
Blogger jane's eyre said...

Next thing you know, Boost Mobile will be saying they don't want their product to be associated with them either.

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coons?!? When racoons try to get on our back porch, Momma just chase 'em off with a broom...

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not RAcoons ya idiot!... NIGGERS!

5:08 PM  

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