SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, June 30, 2006

EVERYBODY HATES TORI

You may have heard Tori Spelling's claims to the media that her family did not tell her that her father, television producer Aaron Spelling, had died last week. Her mother, Candy Spelling, issued this statement today in response to her daughter's accusations:
"We are deeply saddened that, during our time of loss and grief, we are forced to respond to the media frenzy caused by the mean-spirited and surprising comments made by Tori to the press, just two days after the passing of Aaron. As we try to honor his memory with love and respect, the sudden media frenzy she has created at this sensitive time is hurtful and very disturbing... Everyone deals with grief in a different way, and since Tori chose not to be here at that time, we believe she is having a harder time dealing with that loss. We understand how difficult it might have been for her to be here, and, perhaps, more difficult for her after she arrived. Aaron loved both his children with all his heart, and he understood how hard it was for her."
You know, it's one thing to be ugly and stupid, but another thing entirely to have your own mother hate your guts. It goes against nature. Unless, I guess, you are so physically repulsive and incomprehensibly stupid that even your genes can't save you.

I went to grade school with Tori Spelling -- sometimes her mother would carpool us on Fridays -- and I used to pour glue in "Whori's" hair and burn her with a cigarette lighter on the rides home. The funny thing is, her mom never said anything to me about it. In fact, Mrs. Spelling would just turn the radio up really loud and roll up the windows when Tori started crying and screaming. And then she'd smile at me in the rearview mirror and give me a little wink.

27 Comments:

Anonymous naughtius maximus said...

It would really spice up this pic if she had some track marks on her arm and a black eye.

She looks "trafficked."

4:53 PM  
Anonymous spongeboob said...

Is that what she wore to the funeral?

4:56 PM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

I would normally think that her head has been photoshopped onto that body, because the proportion is off. Then I remembered that she's got a horseface, and it made perfect sense.

She had a very determined look on her face.

"I am going to party, smoke and have a FABULOUS time! Try and stop me NOW, Daddy!"

5:11 PM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

I'm waiting for pictures of Tori showing her dancing on Aaron's freshly tilled grave, taking swigs from a bottle of Wild Turkey, waving her boa around, screeching the lyrics to "Disco Inferno".

6:07 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

She was awesome in Sea Biscuit

6:37 PM  
Anonymous smellypiratehooker said...

What a WHORSE face.

6:45 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

If I could roll around naked in you guys' comments, I would.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not sure how I missed this one about Tori...

She is a real piece of work. I'm not sure if shes drunk and crying in this pic or taking some self pleasuring porn pics. Real freak she is. No wonder no one called her to break the new that Pop died.

8:34 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Tranny that one made me laugh.
Fantastic!

Im not going to comment because well I cant top Tranny. Its not even worth trying.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

The fluff that is a sorry excuse for a dog to the left is totally looking at her hooha.

8:52 PM  
Anonymous smellypiratehooker said...

Where else can you look except her hooha? Her ugly horse face?

8:58 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

I usually LOVE checking out pussies. But hers... no fucking thank you.

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

OK. I knew he died only an hour or so after he had. What is her excuse?
I watched 1 episode of 90210 and I instantly hated her 'acting' ala Spitney Pearshape gum snapping. I never watched that show again. What did I miss?
We love you also Cheekyone!

1:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish tori spelling would die in a fire.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous naughtius maximus said...

This pic is so horrific I feel that I must comment on it again. What a trashy cooze. The cigarrete is the icing on the cake. If only I could watch her say something without removing it from her lips; something trashy like, "fuck you," or "Leroy, go get me my ringworm liniment out of the medicine cabinet." That would complete my life.

8:53 PM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

You can actually see a labia poking out there. Double yuck.

9:14 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

i can't. i just can't. way too much.

winner for the best screen name: spongeboob. love it, love it!!!

yeah, so i'm easy, wanna make sumfin of it??

hahahaha!

1:02 AM  
Blogger neelyohara said...

I use to see her all fucked up and alone on Melrose,not the show, the streetin West Hollywood all alone...*sob*.And you could tell from her eyes she was out of it.She would just stand there in the street, I thought any minute she might start drooling .

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like the site, funny stuff. hey ladyjane, i like her pussy. there's something good about all pussies. even carnie wilson's; when it hails her husband can park his volvo in it to avoid dents. I had a computer chip put in mine.if you touch my clit, it plays "macarena".

6:40 PM  
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