Tuesday, June 27, 2006


It seems you can't turn around today without being poked in the eye by a celebrity nipple. Beyonce's breast broke free from it's Victorian restraints and blessed the audience of Radio City Musical Hall with a nipple on Sunday night. I'd like to know how long it took before she realized it had flopped out, or if she was able to stuff it back in that corset without anyone noticing.

Mother of God, I'm tired. This kind of hard-hitting journalism just takes the starch right out of me! I'd compare to being an embedded journalist reporting from Iraq, but celebrity boobies don't usually go around beheading the people they've kidnapped or blowing things up. So it's probably not the same, really, now that I think about it.

Maybe I'm more like that guy who used to write for the New York Times and got busted for making shit up. That sounds about right. I have the same sort of journalistic integrity he did, and we shared a similar devotion to "uncovering truth," no matter the cost. Come to think of it, we used to huff model airplane glue together on the weekends. And he's been living on my couch for the past four months. What about nipples? Is it Thursday? Where are my pants?

All this thinking makes my head hurt.

Thanks to Perez Hilton and The Bastardly for the pictures


Anonymous jane's eyre said...

What IS that? It is an incinerated Famous Amos miniature chocolate chip cookie? Why is it stuck to her boob?

1:31 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

You know.. we were questioning this earlier. I opened it with the software to resize the photos. Did a little zoom.. It is in fact and odd and pointly little nip.

Way to break the classy mold Beyonce. I never was a fan of her.

Now shes Nippolicious.
Not so much.

2:37 PM  
Anonymous smellypiratehooker said...

I didn't know I could ever find a nipple disgusting.

2:48 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

zeze -- what's that software? Can you send me a link to the download site?

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This kind of hard-hitting journalism just takes the starch right out of me!"

Id be more than happy to put some starch in you!

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's TrannyGranny

Shit, my nipple pops out all the time, and does anyone blog about it? Hell, no, they just kick me out of the nursing home.

7:04 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

The link was sent via Email.
Should be in your inbox as I type.
Dont forget to make some sort of entry at the other site. Damnit.
I shall hound you till I see a link to click on so I can stalk you even further than watching you in your front yard, emailing, and reading your blog....

8:20 PM  
Blogger Yasser said...

speaking of "wardrobe malfunctioning" there is an article on that at

10:13 PM  
Anonymous easy e said...

That nipple inspires in me a rage I have not felt since the neighbor's ran over my dog. A killin' rage.

8:58 AM  

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