SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, June 15, 2006

LEATHERY-SKINNED COKE WHORE WINS AGAIN


Boy, life is all roses and caviar and scott-free law-breaking for celebrities. Even an ugly, shark-toothed, leathery-skinned celebrity like Kate Moss. Believe it or not, the charges against her (of having used illegal drugs at a London recording studio last year) were dropped today. The Crown Prosecution Services issued a statement claiming that
... in the absence of any forensic evidence, or direct eye-witness evidence about the substance in question, its precise nature could not be established.
Now, after translating that statement from "The Queen's English" into "American," it reads like this:
Even though we have videotaped evidence of her hunched over some white lines with a straw up her nose, we can't say for sure that the stuff she was snorting was cocaine. It might have been baby powder. Or Tide detergent. Or ant-killer. Bottom line, Kate Moss is famous, and she let me touch her boobies. Twice. So fuck you! Americans are fat.
The British judicial system sucks.

10 Comments:

Blogger jane's eyre said...

It's always reassurring to know that celebrities have a different law code applied to them. It would be a horrible feeling to think that justice is indeed blind.

2:02 PM  
Blogger jane's eyre said...

...but I guess that even IF justice is blind, it still has hands to grope Kate Moss' funbags.

2:03 PM  
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