NAMIBIA SAYS "NO" TO FAT CHICKS
People magazine is reporting that there is "no truth" to the story that Britney Spears is moving to Namibia for the birth of her second child.
Earlier in the week, Namibia's Minister of Tourism told the Associated Press that Spears
... had shown interest to come over to Namibia. Nothing has been confirmed yet... she wants to come in very low profile and have some privacy.Then he got a good look at this picture of her in a bathing suit and changed his mind. It's basically understood that beautiful Hollywood A-listers are permitted to move to third-world African countries and set up residence, but not ugly fat chicks who wipe their own noses on the back of their hands. Britney may be claiming that it was she who opted against an African birth, but I'm pretty certain that it was Namibia who changed their mind.
I mean, really, they have their Namibian standards to uphold. They have to draw the line somewhere. Maybe it's not at "preventing the AIDS epidemic from spreading" or "criminalizing mandatory female circumcision," but at least they care enough to forbid ugly fat chicks from spawning all over the place.
And that, my friends, is a governmental policy I can heartily endorse. I pray that America will one day be as brave and morally upstanding as Namibia. It begins with us abandoning our war in Irag to wage war where it's really needed: against all the ugly fat people reproducing right here on American soil.