NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER
In one of many shamefully humilating yet wildly entertaining displays of social retardation, Lindsay Lohan engaged Paris Hilton in a "dance-off" at club Butter in New York last Wednesday night. People.com reports
Neither [Paris nor Lindsay] was going to leave before the other. They didn't say a word to each other, but they were literally a foot-and-a-half away from each other the entire time.They are said to have continued their dance-off until the club closed its doors at 7 a.m. the next morning.
Wow, a real-life "battle of epic proportion!" Probably something like the battle between Achilles and Hector, or Muhammed Ali and Joe Frazier. Or maybe more like the knife fight from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video. Except gayer. And instead of rooting for someone to win, you sorta hope they both spontaneously combust or aspirate their own vomit.
You know, I was involved in a dance-off once. I was totally working "the sprinkler" and "the Roger Rabbit," and for my big finish, I dropped into a "three-point crab walk," complete with violent pelvic thrusting. It was awesome.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be less of a "dance-off," and more of a "field sobriety test;" and instead of a trophy or a medal, I was slapped with a DUI and shit myself in the backseat of the cop car.