SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, June 19, 2006

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER



In one of many shamefully humilating yet wildly entertaining displays of social retardation, Lindsay Lohan engaged Paris Hilton in a "dance-off" at club Butter in New York last Wednesday night. People.com reports
Neither [Paris nor Lindsay] was going to leave before the other. They didn't say a word to each other, but they were literally a foot-and-a-half away from each other the entire time.
They are said to have continued their dance-off until the club closed its doors at 7 a.m. the next morning.

Wow, a real-life "battle of epic proportion!" Probably something like the battle between Achilles and Hector, or Muhammed Ali and Joe Frazier. Or maybe more like the knife fight from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video. Except gayer. And instead of rooting for someone to win, you sorta hope they both spontaneously combust or aspirate their own vomit.

You know, I was involved in a dance-off once. I was totally working "the sprinkler" and "the Roger Rabbit," and for my big finish, I dropped into a "three-point crab walk," complete with violent pelvic thrusting. It was awesome.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be less of a "dance-off," and more of a "field sobriety test;" and instead of a trophy or a medal, I was slapped with a DUI and shit myself in the backseat of the cop car.

1 Comments:

Blogger LadyJane said...

I'm jealous. The biggest things these twats need to worry about is a fucking "dance-off"... and who wears the largest sunglasses and carries the biggest designer bag. Firecrotch and herpes? Mere minor irritations in the glamorous world of Lindsay and Paris. Actually it must be hard to be them. Takes a lot of work to get that "used up whore, drug-addicted, STD filled, fahionista, party girl" look. Especially Lindsay's specialty of chewed up black nails, polish half gone, JBF'd hair, and rolling up her 7 foot clit into her drawers so no one can see it. Oh, and her love of tights combined with ripped up baggy shirt/dresses... C'mon Paris, say it with me... "That's hot"

8:37 AM  

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