TERI HATCHER AVOIDS ARREST
Not much celebrity news to report. So here's a picture of Teri Hatcher, cavorting on the beach in a bikini. For some reason, the beach police didn't arrest her for "wearing a ridiculously small swimming suit while being disgustingly old." The cops tried to tell me that being "being old in a bikini" wasn't even a crime, and that I should put my megaphone away and clean up all that vomit, but I wasn't convinced. I'm pretty sure there's a law.