SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

UGLY BALDWIN FINDS JESUS

Actor Stephen Baldwin, who you may better remember as "The Really Ugly Baldwin," claims to have "found God" and stopped drinking and doing drugs. Hopefully, this "call to Christ" will compel him to stop making stinkbombs like "Firefight" and "Spider's Web" as well. Now calling himself a Republican, he has joined sides with conservatives, going as far as to join in their crusade against pornography. He is also publishing a book about his call to salvation titled "The Unusual Suspects," (a play on the title of one of his movies, "The Usual Suspects").

I don't know what to believe. I'm looking at this picture here, and figuring it was most likely taken after polishing off two or three bottles of tequila, a gram of coke, and a threesome with some underage groupies (who thought he was Alec). And I just don't buy it. I think he's a born-again douchebag. That I can believe.

4 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

That's not Jesus, that's some girl named Amanda who lives down the street from me. Amanda like to take shower and undress with her curtains open at night. Yes she does.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Macius_Sarcasticus said...

My God. He may have given up swilling, but he sure as hell hasn't given up eating.

5:26 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

I think HE has the Shweaty Balls...

8:21 PM  
Blogger jane's eyre said...

He looks like his PORES are oozing booze.

12:16 PM  

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