SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, June 12, 2006

YOU'VE BEEN SPANKED!

I am debuting a bit called "You've Been Spanked" that will air every Monday and feature a famous Hollywood actress or model sans make up and airbushing. It's a great way to kick off your work week -- you'll find that it's the visual equivalent of being slapped in the face. Or maybe the visual equivalent of having scalding-hot coffee poured into your eyes. Whatever. Look for it first thing Monday mornings, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood spankcheeks.

The hard-hitting journalist in me is doing this to remind you that NOTHING you see in magazines is for real; most pictures have had serious touch-ups and photoshopping. I'm just here to serve you up a great big side of the truth, ugly though it may be.

For example, take this Monday's "spank victim," Kate Moss. I find that this "heroin-chic" supermodel bears a striking resemblance to that lady who lives in a box by the courthouse and is always high on meth and screaming obscenities. Of course, that lady has better teeth. And less frizzy hair. But she lives in a box and doesn't have a Roberto Cavalli contract. So there.

Thanks to Perez Hilton for the unshopped photo.

4 Comments:

Blogger jane's eyre said...

I thought this was Gywneth Paltrow. It's refreshing to see when these "perfect" supermodels aren't so flawless. Of course, all that coke can't be that great for the complexion.

"Victory is mine!"~ Stewie Griffin

10:46 AM  
Blogger Tranny and/or Zanna said...

Since there are 2 of us posting as Corndog, I shall leave the initials TG after my post. To avoid confusion. Cause I am to fucking computer illeterate to sign in under my regular name. As in TrannyGranny. I have to say, I don't know who Roberto Cavalli is, but I am positive he contracted something just by being in the same room as this Ur-Ru (Dark Crystal). Christ, I look more feminine and I have a Beard!

-TG

7:26 PM  
Blogger larbuk said...

Hey Spanked thanks for the foundation advise and your new advise on how to score placentas from local hospitals to stay young. You rock! I miss your humor - Love your blog and will keep tabs on you. Love your pal on the west coast!

12:06 AM  
Blogger Macius_Sarcasticus said...

Nice grill. It looks like she just got finished eating a bag of Oreos.I've seen better complexions on armadillos.

7:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home