SPANK CHEEKS

Saturday, July 01, 2006

THE FBI IS A FUCKING JOKE


Remember those pictures I had up last week of Brad and Angie's "baby shower" (re: perverse avian sex games)? Well, I was legally obligated to take those pics down, as they were stolen from Angie's brother by a Best Buy employee intent on selling them to the media. According to TMZ,
FBI and Massachusetts authorities raided a Westfield, Massachusetts, home Tuesday night and seized the baby shower photos. Turns out, the pics were taken by Jolie’s brother, James Haven when he visited the couple in Namibia, where the shower took place.

Upon returning to L.A., Haven realized his camera was broken so he took it to Best Buy, which sent the camera to Precision Camera and Video Repair in Enfield, Connecticut to be fixed. Two employees at Precision, Bill Keyes and Adam Beckwith, allegedly discovered the pictures in the digital camera and downloaded the photos.
I'm really glad the FBI is devoting their time and my tax dollars to hunting down the dangerous bastards who go around stealing memory cards out of people's cameras. I tell you, it's gotten so bad that I don't take pictures after dark anymore, and I keep my camera's memory card hidden in my bra when I go out in public. I just can't sleep at night knowing there are card-theives out there. In fact, I'm going to go look at my camera right now, just to make sure it's safe. You should probably do the same.

16 Comments:

Anonymous ZeZe said...

Shoo no worries. I checked and my stick is safe.
Good to know there are agents out there worried about my stick.
I dont know what I would do if the security of my stick was compromised. It would be a shame.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous jesus said...

I guess all those pictures I took of Ang with a telephoto lens are going to put me on the FBI's most wanted list.

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yea you update on the weekends!

5:37 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

what kind of idiot leaves their memory stick in the camera when they send it off for repairs? isn't that a little like leaving your wallet in your pants when you drop them off at the cleaners?

THAT is why sex between siblings and first cousins is illegal. you get idiot children.

i love this site. cheeks is my hero!

6:20 PM  
Blogger bella420 said...

Not one, but two posts- on the weekend!
Cheeks, you were already my favourite poster on the superfish, and then you became my favourite gossip blogger, but now I think I may be falling in love with you!

7:04 PM  
Anonymous easy e said...

I love Spank Cheeks and it's patron saint! Long live the cheeky one.

I'd like to paddel Angelina's cheeks with my bare hands.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous naughtius maximus said...

I wish they were really dead

8:42 PM  
Anonymous naughtius maximus said...

oops! I meant nick and jessica. I like Brad and Angie, I only wish their love were not born out of infidelity. It seems tainted.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

huh huh huh... you said "taint".

Love born of infidelity dies of infidelity. It's science.

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Spankcheeks also posts more (and more timely) gossip columns. And on the weekends!

We love you Cheekyone!

11:44 AM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

Like a doting mother, I collectively gather all you "loyal commenters" into my arms and hold you against my bosom.

My luscious, heaving bosom, that is.

Now stop smelling my nipples. Perverts!

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

If ya think I am smelling them only then that's just my finger!

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i live in westfield. seriously.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

LUCIOUS
HEAVING
BOSUM

*sigh* just three of the most beautiful words in the english language.

spankalicious!

6:41 PM  
Blogger Showgrrrl said...

Yup, if she didn't already have me, then she definitely did at 'luscious heaving bosom'. I mean, what better IS there?! ;)

12:07 AM  
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10:54 PM  

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