SPANK CHEEKS

Sunday, July 02, 2006

HAIR IS FOR FAT CHICKS

Perhaps Victoria Beckham should have been called "Bald Spice" instead of "Posh Spice." The picture below on the left, courtesy of Barbie Martini, shows a large chunk of Victoria's scalp exposed in a place where hair should be.

The picture on the right is her hair post flying to London to visit her stylist; Barbie Martini claims that Beckham was so "horrified by that picture [of the bald spot]" that she had to return home to have it fixed the following day.

I suppose one the the many perks of anorexia -- beside lanugo and maybe death -- is your hair taking on a general corpse-like appearance and falling out in clumps. You know, "corpse hair":

Main Entry: corpse hair
Pronunciation: 'korps 'har
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English corps, from Middle French, from Latin corpus

1. a: slender threadlike outgrowths of the epidermis of an animal or human body whether living or dead

2. a: one of the usually pigmented filaments that form the characteristic coat of the dead body of mammal b : pigmented filaments atop the remains of something discarded or defunct

3. a: when they exhume dead people on those DNA detective shows and all that's left is a crusty skeleton that still has hair but the hair is all wispy and straggle-y and disgusting looking.

Bald Spice here is cleary afflicted.



14 Comments:

Anonymous jizm said...

Mabye she should try Rogaine for women.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I looked corpse hair up in MY dictionary, there was actually a picture of Victoria Beckham included with the definition.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Wow, she needs to do some research. $3000 bucks to fix a little bald spot?
When I had my bald spot I bought a few glittery butterfly clips and some Rogain for Women at Walmart for $25.97
Stupid ass celebrities and their indispensable money.

5:20 PM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

Thanks for mentioning my blog!

7:03 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

That's not a bald spot, silly, it is merely a portion of my spilled man-juice. Let this be a lesson to all, DO NOT get between me and a pic of J. Alba, lest ye be "Spanked".

8:20 PM  
Anonymous naughtius maximus said...

Hey, it worked for Sinbad O'Connor, Natalie Portman, and that chick from the first Star Trek movie...Oh, and Sigourney Weaver in the third Alien movie.

All bald and all sexy.

8:46 PM  
Anonymous jimmycrackcorn said...

--You set me up with a BALD WOMAN!

--YOU'RE BALD!

--Correction, I was bald.

8:48 PM  
Anonymous lilly said...

LOL! I <3 Seinfeld!

I was in the pool! I was in the pool!

I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm lovin' every minute of it!

9:54 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

eeeewwwwwww......

11:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spankcheeks you are fucking hilarious. Don't ever change. Keep the celeb news coming. *~ Mel

6:21 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

maybe it's ringworm.....

just one more reason not to touch her w/ ten foot pole.
UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN!!

*gag*

6:38 PM  
Blogger Showgrrrl said...

What if ole David is getting a bit rough with her in the boudoir? You know, with the rough hair pulling and all... THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH. YOU STAY PUT!!! It could be that, OR it could be, say... an axe scar? That's my best guess. I wouldn't want to live with her either.

12:09 AM  
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3:57 AM  

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