SPANK CHEEKS

Sunday, July 02, 2006

YOU'VE BEEN SPANKED


Here's newly-divorced witch Jessica Simpson, only without the false eyelashes and uber-glossed lips. She doesn't look as awful as, say, Kate Moss or Christopher Walken; she just looks so... spectacularly average. Like she might be that chick with the braces who works at Cinnabon in the mall.

To be fair, that girl at Cinnabon has fewer pimples. And a much less prominent chin. But she did probably fuck Nick Lachey while he was still married to Jess, so I guess that makes them even.

Source

7 Comments:

Anonymous jesus said...

I think I might have done it with the Cinnabon chick when I was in high school.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jessica Simpson needs a nose job too.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

What happened to your Pro-Active, Jess? I saw your stupid perky face on their commercial like 10,000,000,000 times this weekend, and every time I saw your face I had to burn myself with my cigarette to get the image out of my head. I now have a happy face, a puppy, and half of the lyrics to "I Hate Everything About You" burned on my skin. Thanks a lot, bitch.

10:33 AM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

ProActiv, my ass! I read that she's actually on Accutane.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous stinkhat said...

Wow, without her tits pushed up to her throat, I don't really care to look at her.

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonomous-sweet
i like jessica simpson.so what if she isnt wearin makeup. evryone isnt perfect here in this world!! jess is sweet and awesome.everyone has a bad $%#* day, giveher a $%#*@! break! cant ya be nice, and i dont think she needs a nose job.or that she looks like she should work at cinnabon, and i like her proactiv commericials. and one more thing, why it "shes been spanked? did they spank her?or us?

6:37 PM  

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