SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, August 04, 2006

ASHLEE SIMPSON EMPOWERS WOMEN

In last month's issue of Marie Claire, Ashlee Simpson urged American girls to empower themselves by realizing that "everyone is made differently, and that's what makes us unique... I want girls to look in the mirror and feel confident." Oh, that's nice, isn't it? Ashlee wants us to feel "confident."

You know what it really takes to make a girl confident? Plastic surgery, blonde extensions, and cocaine. Turns me into Eva-fucking-Peron. Clearly, it's done a lot for Ash. Now, I guess, she's on her way to empowering "Granny panties", or maybe just "Grandmas in general." No better way than wearing a dress that falls 1/8 of an inch from your enormous white panty line. Enjoy, perverts.

Photo Source

17 Comments:

Blogger cock-ninja said...

FIRST!!!!

4:10 PM  
Anonymous zanna said...

*pushes cockninja out of way*...no..ME first....WELCOME BACK!!!!! MWWAAAAH!

4:59 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

Aahh... my evil minions... come, gather round... I can feel your anger! It gives you focus!

Together, we shall rule the galaxy!!!

5:05 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Please milady, I beg to suckle at your sweet, cynical, malevolent breast once again. How I missed thee, I have pined for a fortnight, awaiting your triumphant return.

Welcome back, you magnificunt piece of ass.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous easy e said...

Thank you jeebus, cheeks is back!

5:59 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

ladyjane:
a finer lady there has never been.
well, except for the magnificent 'cheeks.
i bow down before each of my ladies!


*sigh* guess i kneel down before the glorius manhood that is ninj....

gotta tell y'all, my folks were at the orange bowl where she, uh, performed? i'm calling them on the cel phone from home going "what the fuck" (well, i didn't say wtf, because even across country my father would have smacked me, but i digress)? why, why, why does she remain in the spotlight? papa joe has his fingers in, uh, uh....shit. that expression just TOTALLY changed meanings.
nevermind.

7:58 PM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

Those drumsticks are an appealing shade.

8:05 PM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

Holy FUCK that is orange!!!

8:25 PM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

Well, maybe not orange per se, but definitely not natural.

8:27 PM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

dsquared, I believe the word you're searching for is "rotisserie golden". Mmmm...rotisserie...

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Looking good! I want to poke her hiney! Several times!

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Tranny said...

I don't find her particularly attractive most of the time, but DAMN!!! She looks fucking hot from the bellybutton down in that pic. I love beaver shots and white panties! Legs looking good to. *penis stands up and begins yelling* Ok, off to spank it in the shower now. Thanks cheeks, and say hello to your glorious ass for me.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

i tried to take a beaver shot once.

little fucker wouldn't sit still and kept swinging branches at me.

6:17 PM  
Anonymous Tranny said...

Yo Bunny,

you are doing it wrong. You don't DO shots OF Beaver. I wait till night, when they crawl out of their ponds, stick my face out from under the bush and lick that wet beaver. They really like it, seems like a kind of social thing to lick the beaver.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

damn, tranny, maybe that's what went wrong.

so. my dearest tranny. you have edumacated me 'bout beavers, meese, and corndogs (ok, the corndog thing may have come from y'all's site, so i think zanna may have helped).

think next time i can bring you, zanna and ninj along? the shoot, i mean!

oh, and seriously, i don't think we get any nascar action near here. (richard petty, after god and country used to be my hero. i actually went to jr. hi. w/ a couple of his kids) closest track is willow springs and what is it, l.a. speedway? someting like that. we don't get alot of the good folk nearby.
did i already say that my big brother used to work at the now defunct OMS? and the only race i ever, ever got to really go to was (shit. i was like 14,15, OH YEAH, I b'live it was the marlboro 500 at atlanta, it was a long time ago. all i remember for sure was that my BF was buzzed that somebody gave me tickets, and my man petty won!)

but i swear upon richard petty, if you ever get up (down, over, near, whatever) i am comin' for my corndog!
oh, and i'm intrigued by the pinto. think i told zanna (maybe it was you) that my first car was a '72 pinto. loved that car. i think i may have accidentally killed it.

i think maybe i should save this stuff for your site. i just have an awful hankerin' for a corndog.
and we can ALWAYS talk about the best way to photog those wild beavers!!

hee-hee-hee
and richard petty is still the king!
hi, zanna!!

god, i love corndogs. and richard petty.

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Tranny, Zanna and Bunny,

Please be careful. Pinto's EXPLODE if hit from the back!
Thanks, I'd hate to lose such comic geniuses!

We'd still have Spankcheeks but she isn't always around..........

5:15 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

naw, d. only some models had that problem, mine wasn't one of them. i grad-e-ated to a serious of coupes, to "sport cars" but down graded a wee bit back, from the firebird formua, to the firebird coupe. t- tops are not just for flashing anymore!

anybody heard from ninj today??

i'm more concerned about ME getting hit from the rear and exploding. first sunburn of the season, thought i was past that!

toodles to all 'til monday!!
buns

10:45 PM  

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