Thursday, August 24, 2006


With only 123 days left until Christmas, I'm sure you've already been hunting for the perfect gift for someone special. Maybe you have a gay uncle who loves teeny bopper pop? What about your eight year-old sister that loved "Crossroads?" And who doesn't have a cousin who's comatose, but kept alive with machines, and just won't know any better? I have found this year's "Must-Have" item and perfect gift: the Britney Spears coffee table book. The best part? It's nearly free.

"Stages" -- 103 pages of an all-access glimpse into Britney Spears' life as a pop icon -- is available to you for a meager $0.99. TMZ reports
"When the pop icon first published the book after her 21st birthday back in 2002, Spears was under intense media scrutiny. Because of that she decided to take a step back, reflect and publish a book."
Unforunately, her "tell-all" book tanked, and has since been relegated to land of whoopee cushions and plastic knick-knackery. The good folks at the "99 ยข Only" claim that Brit's book is the must-have item for the season, and that they sold out of her biopic in less than two weeks. I guess "Stages" is better than "The Tabasco Enema" or "The Genital Cuff" I picked up out of the bargain bin last week. Although I have to say they all make pretty kick-ass gifts.



Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Fortunately, I have a coffee table
with one leg shorter than the other three.

Can I get one sent to the 99 cent store here in town?
I'll pick it up later.


7:32 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

I like how the cover of the book is a shot of her nasty snatch.

7:51 AM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

How is it that I never heard of this book before? Her publicist is obviously a moron.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's cheaper than the New York Times. I'll order a dozen copies for my cat litter box. Thanks for the tip!

9:00 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

Also makes a great bird-cage liner of emergency spare toilet paper.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

I have five genital cuffs. I have to hook them all together to fit it around my giant schlong.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Italian stallion said...

Does the book itself turn into a coffee table? That would be great......
Crazy ass Kramer

10:11 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

I might use that book as kindling for a fire.

11:17 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I'd use that book for slamming potential robbers in the groin.

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I hear colostomy bags are great stocking stuffers.

1:15 PM  

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