SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, August 25, 2006

THE BLIMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES


Mariah Carey hit up Madison Square Garden this week on the New York stop of her World Tour. Nobody bothered to tell her that she had forgotten her clothes and that her bra and control-top bloomers were showing. Funny thing is, she remembered to wear a cape and a necklace. Oh, and shoes and full make-up. I guess "pants" are trickier than they seem.

Jay-Z showed up half-way through the show and slouched and squatted around onstage during a few of her songs. Remarkably, his pants somehow made it to the show.

Source

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh goodness!!!

I don't know what to say!!

Awful, springs to mind.....

7:31 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

They are good at slouching and squatting.
The real talent lies in the grabbing of the crotch,
(400 times a minute)

7:31 AM  
Anonymous EASY E said...

That bitch is TOO FAT to be prancing around in a bikini.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous emporer said...

"Blimperor" ha ha!

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

look at those muffin tops. yuck

8:22 AM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Janet Jackson needs to pull her aside, and give her some diet tips. Or Beyonce can share her syrup, but seriously, girlfriend is getting hefty.

8:25 AM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Number one cunt I'd like to kick in the taco....

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to disagree. I'd hit that so hard her airbrushed abs would be painted on my white t shirt. I mean, she could use a few diet tips from Posh, but fuck it, I'd buttfuck it.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous xxx said...

Buttfucking it would probably look the same as letting it give you a blowjob.

11:30 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

It looks like someone put a 'human head' on top of a five foot tall sub-woofer.

I fucked a sub-woofer once for a dollar and half a bag of nibs.

ninj.

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice that her forehead is ginormous?!

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

I stopped being friends with this girl Val because she looked like this. Ugly? I'm against it. Seriously. It makes me angry. Which WOULD explain why I'm in a bad mood every morning. Stupid mirror.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

squatting and slouching...fabulous imagery spank.

you may all lambaste me for not knowing, but what are muffin tops? A few things come to mind, but I need confirmation.

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

Last weekend she was in the Grand Canyon for a scenic trip. She borrowed Mr T's donkey to ride through thye Canyon. When asked what he thought of all this, Mr t was quoted saying "I pity the mule".............

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Holy shit, it's a Macy's float gone awry. I hope it's filled with helium not hydrogen or we'll have another Hindinberg on our hands.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Mimi" can suck my dick. All of her effing songs sound the same and the bitch can't cover up her bigass thighs and jiggly tits.

5:55 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Muffin top is the blob of stomach fat that oozes out of the waist of a girls pants/skirt/shorts and sort of pouches like the top of a muffin.

And again, I would enjoy kicking this fat bitch right in the poochana.

8:22 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Stallion, you make me laugh, you're so cute!

8:58 PM  
Anonymous stallion said...

chilly if your are who I think you are how come you don't e-mail me anymore? chicksickle?

2:56 AM  
Anonymous dicksickle said...

Chicksicle... the name sounds so familiar...

9:00 AM  
Anonymous fudgesickle said...

I love it up the Hershey highway!

10:03 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

I tried the Hershey highway but got roadblocked by a sphincter.

12:33 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Stallion, check you're email sexy bitch. There, now I feel better.

1:53 PM  
Anonymous mariah's ego said...

oooh, look at me... Look at me, how beeyouteeful I am. Really, I am the sexiest, hottest, most talented twat in the universe. Even though my music sucks in many ways, I KNOW that everyone covets my beauty, talent, money and most of all, my fat flabby ass, which I love to show off in sausage casing. Everyone else is shit, except for me.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous mariah carey said...

I should probably just go and kill myself already. I'm just such a stupid fucking cooze. My twat smells like the inside of a sewer and my cellulite wiggles like jello. I know I suck but I can't help myself. Maybe somebody could just end it all for me.

10:13 PM  
Anonymous mariah carey said, mariah carey said...

My music sucks... but I would do myself with Madonnas cone bra.

11:05 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

eskimo pie, little one,
did you manage to get my email from sonya?
when you do, pass it to stallion, if you would be so kind,
i would like to talk to him about something non-celeb-bash.

otherwise, wtf happened here since last night? even the trolls seem to have trolls.
i'm not as proficient at message boards as you guys are, so we need to figure out a way to exhange emails.

xx
buns

1:30 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Bunny -

I don't anybody was trying to troll anybody. I think people were just trying to be, well, funny. If you want to IM the other posters, go ahead, but expect to get burned on a blog devoted to making fun of people. Duh!

No harm meant!

5:40 PM  

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