Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Expect to see some riveting love scenes between Jessica Alba and rumored Simpson-boy-toy Dane Cook in the upcoming "Good Luck Chuck." Hot, sexy stuff. Passionate, baby. Think "the kissing scene from 'Dumb and Dumber'." She tells Extra
"We did all of our love scenes in one day and I chipped a tooth and I lost a tooth, isn't that disgusting? We're smashing our faces together, it's not the slowest, most romantic love scene."
Jessica regaled Extra with her dental woes at event called "" -- a rally for improving the self-esteem of teenage girls. Although nothing can quite boost your feelings of self-worth like standing next to Jessica Alba, she volunteered some profound advice for fostering your sense of self-esteem:
"It's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy. It's about loving yourself, being proud of who you are and proud of how God put you together."
Luckily, I do a great job of loving myself. In fact, I didn't go to work at all yesterday, just so I could stay home and love myself. And then I videotaped it and sent it off to "East Coast Horny Housewives." Loving yourself can really pay off.



Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Is it... can I really be... first? Chipped tooth or gap, I'd still be all up in Jessica's grill.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved myself this morning in the shower.

8:37 AM  
Blogger pinky_nip said...

The lesbian fantasies I have about Jessica Alba are so sweet that my teeth could fall out.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Any one have pictures of this? I would love to see a Toothless Jessica Alba.

That would be the greatest post ever.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

spanks...loving herself... mmmmm....

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

I still fuck her but I don't think I would let her suck my dick now that she is a "Black and Decker Pecker Wrecker"..................

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Italian can't speak fucking engrish stallion said...

I'd*............Damn trees

9:50 AM  
Anonymous ninja's grandma said...

She could have no teeth and I'd still fuck her.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

As if my fantasy sex with Alba wasn't hot enough, she likes it rough? Sweet!!! Tonight as I sit home alone, crying into my whiskey and covering myself in lubricant, I can now imagine bludgeoning ALL her teeth out with my cock and then twisting her nipples while I sodomize her. I'd write more, but I just covered the monitor in Man-Whiz.

And by staying home alone, I mean fucking your girlfriends, losers.

12:12 PM  
Anonymous rocky said...

No teeth would definately sway my opinion on the dick sucking part..........

12:13 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Tranny, you can bludgeon me with your man-meat any day...

12:29 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Spanks, here's that address you asked me to find for you.

East Coast Horny Housewives lmtd.
P.O. Box 1112
Chicago Il

ummm... yes they have moved their east coast office and ummm this is the new address.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you.


a.k.a. marketing representative Horny Housewives International.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous xxx said...

I happen to be senior vice president of "East Coast Horny Housewives." I will see you be appointment only.

Also, I slept my way to the top. "It's industry, man."

3:30 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

I'd fuck Jessica Alba with MY dick!

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I see she lied again. Dear sweet Jessica chipped her tooth on my diamond hard penis. Move along.

6:04 PM  

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