SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, August 10, 2006

DO MY NEFARIOUS BIDDING

Page Six is reporting that pictures of the ne'er-been-seen Suri Cruise have already been taken by reknown photographer Annie Leibovitz and are to be published in Vanity Fair this fall.

I have to say, Vanity Fair is a little late on the draw. My loyal readers might remember that I managed to get my source into the Cruise compound and score pictures of little Suri before anybody else could. It's because I stand behind the name "Spank Cheeks" and work hard to keep your news up-to-date, accurate, and spank-worthy. So please, feel free to pass the name along to all your friends, family, co-workers, priests, doctors, pimps and zookeepers. Soon, my fiendish plan to amass an empire will be complete, and I can finally wear that Emporer costumer and quote Star Wars without seeming like such a loser.


Source

22 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This story is not even remotely funny or newsworthy!

9:21 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

fuck you, anonymous.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you talk about not wanting to bring people over here from the Fish!
Go to the "Paris Hilton gets a ticket" thread, read comment #45.

9:27 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

cock-ninja - I contacted twzzlrgirl.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

Damn, just when I thought I got away from the tool boxes, one finds it's way over here........

10:08 AM  
Anonymous ninja's grandma said...

Cheeks, consider myself your loyal minion. Instruct me in thy ways.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe you officialy have an empire, cheeks, once you have a "detractor."

10:52 AM  
Blogger pinky_nip said...

I want to be part of spanks empire, as long as the costumes include lots of fishnet stockings and tassels.

11:35 AM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Just wanted to contact cock-ninja (aka, hopeless??? is that you)? I mean, you talk to me about polygamy and then disappear?

Tease.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

If "The Spanks Empire" consists of spanking women, count me in!!!!!!!!!

Who's first?

Cock Ninja, sorry, but I did say women just to clarify for ya..............

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

If "The Spanks Empire" consists of spanking women, count me in!!!!!!!!!

Who's first?

Cock Ninja, sorry, but I did say women just to clarify for ya..............

12:01 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

A good spanking is always welcome...

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

Yes, my first accidental double post.

What do I win?

12:04 PM  
Blogger pinky_nip said...

Stallion... you win your bare hand slapping my bottom until it's pink!

12:13 PM  
Anonymous ninja's grandma said...

You win a big fat blowjob from Ninja's grandma! I'll take my teeth out and everything.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous ninja's grandma said...

Ninj, it's all in good fun. I'm really a douchebag asswipe. Don't be mad.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

What is thy bidding, my master?


Spankcheeks will show you the true nature of the force.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Indeed you are powerful.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

Pinky_nip:
Until your ass is pink or my hand?
Either or, what a great prize!!!

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about that grandma blowjob? That seems like a pretty good prize too.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

So when can we have a tour of the Death Star?

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jane? Are you back, for good? We missed you! I see Ninja's grandma, but where is he?

9:50 PM  

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