Wednesday, August 23, 2006


The world's largest manufacturer of hair extensions and "additions" -- Hair U Wear -- has partnered up with Jessica Simpson and what appears to be the wooden-eyed pirate from "The Pirates of the Carribean" movies, or maybe "the blonde Igor." Their M.O.? A signature line of Simpson hair extension pieces.
"The collection features styles designed by Ken and inspired and modeled by Jess, available in a variety of shades, including Jessica'ss signature blonde hue."
Regrettably, the hair pieces do not come with a bosom-loving father or flaccid gay best friend. Parts sold separately.



Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

He DOES look like the cat from "The Curse of the Black Pearl"!

7:55 AM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

Ugh. Why is she making that face? She looks confused, like, what am I doing here again?

8:20 AM  
Blogger pinky_nip said...

When will the two of them team up and start selling merkins?

8:44 AM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Dsquared.. I was coming to make the same response.
She looks puzzled.

The lights they're soo....... shiney..

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Inspired by" Jessica? So....they're fake too?

9:14 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

I guess fake hair IS for white people now, too.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous italian Stallion said...

The funny thing is, my puppy Cobain tilts his head like that whenever I make weird noises at him. The shits hilarious.........

9:53 AM  
Anonymous ninja's grandma said...

I bet your dog has more brains than that bimbo and her gay henchman combined.

12:07 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

The dog in the picture is the only one with an expression of normalcy. Weird.

However, do they have hair extensions for dogs? I am so behind the times.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

ninja, do you loufah???

Be alert...
The country needs more lerts.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous xxx said...

I'll punch a lert in the face if I see one, I swear.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

If ya want, I can love your Bosom Spankcheeks!

6:07 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

walrus, strangely enough, when i graduated high school, my dad gave me a card with that exact sentiment.

also one about my gown being on backwards?


7:38 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

I let my husband "love my bosoms" and he made a big fuckin' mess in my face. Fuckin' sailors don't respect nothin'!

P.S. My apologies if you are a sailor, dragulf. I supposed from your name that you were a third level elvin rogue. I, myself, am a wizard known as "Gabriazar the Infernal Voice." It's on all my business cards.

9:11 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

bunny, stranger still, if I had graduated, it would have been in '77.

Instead, the Marine Corps came a calling (voluntarily) a year earlier.

To you Spanks, I say with all due respect,

"Squids Is For Kids"


"Birdie birdie
in the sky
Drop a little white wash
in my eye
I won't cry
I'm just glad that
cows don't fly"

nighty night

10:17 PM  

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