SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, August 31, 2006

A GIFT FOR THE INFIDEL


People just keep feeding Mariah Carey's overblown self-esteem. According to Page Six, Prince Azim, son of the Sultan of Brunei, delivered an 8-carat flawless diamond and platinum necklace worth $4 million to the zaftig singer before her concert last week.

I guess Azim didn't realize that Mariah Carey is one of the "godless sodomites" manufactured by "The Great Satan." That could be kind of awkward around Ramadan, what with the whole "jihad" thing they've got going on over there.

Source

35 Comments:

Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

A whole new kind of racism today! Now the blacks can quit there whining.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Oink

Woof

Moo

That's all that comes to mind when I see her picture.

9:39 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Did she put her makeup on with a spackle?

9:46 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

Whenever I see Mariah Carey's face I always picture that episode of The Simpsons where Homer invents a makeup gun and shoots Marge in the face with it.

9:57 AM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Mariah Carey, the only woman in the world to have tits and ass... (albeit ugly fat ones...but I digress.)

10:00 AM  
Anonymous stallion said...

LoL at the salted one.........

10:06 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Camron Manheim had tits and ass too.

10:20 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Albeit also fat and ugly ones.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous xxx said...

What about Jesscia Beil's ass? Theres a nice ass.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck diamonds, I'd give her a pearl necklace anytime. She could have my cock in one hand and a pork chop in the other, after eating a stack of marshmallow and mayonnaise sammiches, chased by peanut butter and fudge milkshake. She's a moron, but any man would tap her like a fucking keg. Ladies, if your man tells you otherwise, he's just trying to get on you good side so you can blow him later.

10:49 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

Well, anonymous, that officialy makes you a "chubby chaser." Any woman who tells you otherwise just wants you to do the laundry.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We'll have to agree to disagree. I'd hit that like a police cruiser ramming a stolen van after a high speed chase. Just remember, if your man tells you he wouldn't nail any particular chick, be it Mariah or that chick you pointed out to him in the mall that he said was too 'fat', you can probably figure out why he's been spending a bit more time in the bathroom than normal.

11:05 AM  
Blogger biatcho said...

Here I am thinking I would have to go to New England to go whalewatching this weekend... all I needed to do was log onto the spanks and see this picture. Saved a ton of money, though I feel the need to vomit and poke my eyes out all at the same time.

11:05 AM  
Blogger biatcho said...

anonymous you fat-ass lover... my husband tells me he'd do chicks like rene russo (smart & attractive) and basically finds the likes of Mariah, Simpson, Hohan & the rest of the fat-ass skanks disgusting.
But even if he did want to fuck them I'd still blow his dick three ways to Sunday...

11:10 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

Biatcho*** I think that still counts as doing "patriotic duty."

11:13 AM  
Blogger biatcho said...

anonymous has a fat ugly wife that used to be hot but had 5 kids and now she's as big as a house & doesn't fuck anymore. Probably uses up all her orgasms fucking the poolboy...

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Biatcho, you are a good woman and a funny one too. Your husband should be proud, and happy, and orgasmically satisfied. But he'd still pound Mariah like a chef trying to tenderize a steak. He's lying to you because you obviously give great head and no man is foolish enough to sacrifice great head in the name of truth. My wife is actually quite attractive and slender, and we can't afford a pool, though she does eye the cable guy sometimes...

11:21 AM  
Blogger biatcho said...

oh the cable guy... i had me one of those puppies when sex & the city first started on HBO. I needed HBO and just did not want to pay for it. Needless to say I ended up with HBO, showtime AND skinamax. i told him to keep his fucking encore & starz cause there was no way in hell I was gonna bring a midget into the mix.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

I bet she looks HOT getting sodomized in a burkha.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

Where is cock-ninja, and his mom and grandma?

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Damn it, if I was near her I'd be scared. Anyone with a pin, hell even a pen could accidentally poke her and BOOM, there would be expolded parts of Mariah in everyones hair for 3 city blocks! Or a lighter.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous jrzmommymustdie said...

I had sex with five strippers and snorted blow off their asses to celebrate un-Ramadan.

1:23 PM  
Anonymous spatz said...

I stayed at the Ramadan because the Comfort Inn was full once. The service there stunk.

2:14 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Smellypiratehooker: I think what you were trying to say is, 'Did she spackle her face with a spade?'

Ans. Yes!

No racism intended in the above sentence. I think.

ninj

3:13 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Spatz, that was hilarious!

PS--did the Ramadan smell like curry?

3:55 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Her boobs aren't huge enough for as heavy as she is. What a worthless tart.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

spatz-
at least it wasn't a hilton!

hey, eskimo pie!

5:12 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Those are some nice udders. She would take first prize at the state fair.


Unless Urethra Franklin was entered.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

biatcho- All your 'sex' talk got me semi rigid.

ninj- I call a spade, a spade!

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least she actually has clothes on in that pictures. Yeech.

8:16 PM  
Anonymous morningglory said...

How do I make my name blue? And how are yall posting a pic? I want one!

9:27 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Fuck You Pete!!! I posted my Urethra joke on the previous post before I read this! Good job, for a squid.

Morning glory:

I like to believe that all who post in blue have sucked my balls at one time. This is of course, not true, but that doesn't mean I don't like to believe it.

Click the other button, fill in the blanks, then for fun, voila! It's blue. Then click on everyone's blue name and see what you will. Pics? Fuck, I'm a carpenter, I'm lucky I found out about the in-ter-net 3 weeks ago.

10:02 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

She's a lovely shade of boiled pig.

11:54 PM  
Blogger biatcho said...

walrus - only semi-rigid? Wow, I am so unsexy.

9:15 AM  
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8:54 AM  

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