HOME ALONE... WITH A CRATE OF WHISKEY

Macaulay Culkin celebrated his 26th birthday with girlfriend Mila Kunis, a case of Maker's Mark, and a mohawk.

I did a little research, and found that it takes the average person exactly 2250 mililiters of whiskey to repress the memories of 2003's "Party Monster" and 1994's "Getting Even with Dad." So, with the help of a little something I call "math," we can deduce from the number of bottles in that case the precise number of people that actually showed up at his b'day bash. Macaulay boozed it up with... let's see... where x is represents number of partiers, and pi, and y = 750 ml (per bottle)... wait, use the quadratic formula.... um, three people.

God knows how long it actually took to find three people who could stand an evening with Macaulay Culkin, even if there was free whiskey around.

UPDATE:
Alert spankee Italian Stallion recognized that the bottles in Macaulay's crate are actually Hennessy, not Maker's Mark as I had previously reported. Both liquor bottles have red tops, but I should have known better and paid more attention. I just assumed that if Macaulay was carrying around a crate of Hennessy he'd have a geri curl and a clock on a gold chain around his neck. Not a mohawk. Who knew?

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