SPANK CHEEKS

Monday, August 28, 2006

IT'S 'MS. JACKSON,' IF YOU'RE NASTY


I never realized that the "H" in "FHM" stood for heifer. Janet, you can take a bunch of fucking steroids, drop forty pounds and have a tekkie shop some abs on you, but a heifer is still a heifer. And where I come from, we call that "polishin' a turd."

The guys over there at "Fat Heifer Magazine" are pretty smart. I'd have covered my couch with a plastic tarp, too, before I'd let Ms. Jackson splay her disgusting cooch all over it. I bet the photographers are wearing hazmat suits and carrying Holy Water.

I discovered a little known fact while perusing the interview: Janet Jackson is actually distant relative of the Argentine leaf-folding frog. Note the striking resemblance.



Of course, the frog is prettier.

Photo Source

20 Comments:

Anonymous nyla said...

Janet Jackson is like Michael Jackson lite with a weave and breast implants. Does she ever wear an f-ing shirt? Blah.

7:40 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

I'd fuck the frog before I'd fuck that.

8:39 AM  
Blogger sonya said...

Looks like FHM did for her what Harper's Bazaar did for Britney. Airbrush. Heavy, heavy airbrush.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

What does it say in that article..."I need it as Much as I can get it"....is she referring to the airbrushing?

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

RIBBIT!

I hope they lit Steve-o on fire and didn't put him out.

10:18 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I bet she smells like frog jizz.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

I'm sorry Mrs Jackson, his whiteness ain't real.....

Never meant to make your brother cry, he's a child molesting fake white guy......

I'm sorry Mrs Jackson, his whiteness ain't real......

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

slut!

12:45 PM  
Anonymous plainjane94 said...

i don't get it! where are he stretch marks? where is the saggy skin! you can't lose weight that fast without consequences!

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

plainjane - witness the miracles of Adobe Photoshop.

Stallion...ROTFL..and where have you been? I'm surprised you never commented on Tranny's new Sandwich creation...

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

Zanna:

I didn't see that until today. A lot of funny shit was already said on that by the time I got there. I'll think of something.........

Whats ROTFL? I'm an idiot and don't know that one, can't remember.......

6:34 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Be GLAD you don't know what it means..it' means you aren't a raging geek like me.

ROTFL..means..Rolling on the floor laughing.

6:52 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

I got a special sammich for yah, stallion...

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I had little respect for this blog, now even less...hatin on Janet? Why not put some comparison pics up and lets see how you hold up...and lets see your bank account while we are at it, just another area she has you beat. Lame.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

"Beat It" anonymous.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Anonymous.....

I DO know what Cheeks looks like, and she is fucking HOT!!! Now go back to the sites you respect, like "Young Boys Fisting Priests.org" or "I Think This Belongs In My Anus.com"

Stallion.....HA! I had to be told what ROTFL meant as well, a couple days ago. Now, what is :P and the rest of that shit?

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe it's Maybelline? Oh, and Photo-fucking-shop.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

Tranny:

I believe that is two eye's and the P is the mouth and tounge sticking out, I think. Kind of like :o) I guess look at it side ways, and it's easier to tell...........

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you know what she looks like? A tranny is hot to you?! No shit, go suck it up and spank it again to her little icon in the corner.

Your mom should stop defending you, really.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

A-Hole

Not all of us are anonymous haters, some of us actually know each other outside of the faceless world of blog trashing. And why should I spank it when I can fuck your father's mouth while your mom teabags me?

9:33 PM  

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