SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, August 04, 2006

JENNY DOESN'T DO DALLAS

For all of you hard-core J-Lo fans out there, salivating at the prospect of another glorious cinematic akin to Maid in Manhattan or Shall We Dance?, tonight may be the night you finally decide to take your own life. It pains me to tell you that "Jenny from the Block" has pulled out of the title role of "Sue Ellen" on the movie production of the Dallas.

This after cancelling the Asian and European legs of her musical tour! Either the rumours that she's carrying the spawn of Marc Anthony are true, or else everybody hates her and not even Asians will pay to see her perform "live." It goes without saying, even in the Orient: Hello Kitty and Pokemon, yes; Jennifer Lopez and singing, HELL NO.


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20 Comments:

Blogger cock-ninja said...

Welcome back. I think. hmmmmm?

4:11 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

It's for real, this time, oh loyal ninja... you have forseen this....

Reveal your TRUE identity! You intimated that I... know you? Mom, is that you?

P.S. Ellipses rule. Suck it semi-colons!

5:08 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Jenny can suck my cock. I hate that bitch with a ferocity I have never known in my entire life.

5:43 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

When did I ever intimate you? You are making that up. I haven't intimated for weeks and I'm about to explode, however if I were to intimate it would be with you.

5:57 PM  
Anonymous easy e said...

Thank you holy jesus. Cheeks is back!!!!

I hate Jennifer Lopez with the same ferocity that rivals my hatred for Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Hannoush said...

Mutha Fucka!!!!

5:58 PM  
Anonymous BIMBO the monkey said...

Kiiiich kich kiiiiich
kich kich kich kiiiich
kich kiiich

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whose the monkey? why is it "kiisching"?

6:08 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

YAY! O HAPPY DAY!! the 'cheeks is (are?) back!!
*jumping up to lick 'cheeks' face*
ME SO HAPPY!

ninj, can i be your squeezie happy bunny again? you make me all smoooshie inside ; )

yeah, 'cheeks you know him. we ALL know him. in the biblical sense.

wait, i'll even say something on topic:
how in the holy hell is j-ho going to play sue ellen? doesn't even make sense! in fact, why are they remaking dallas, anyway? now, knott's landing! THAT show they should remake!
dammit, where's the drambuie?

7:50 PM  
Anonymous jane's eyre said...

Hooray, cheeks is back!!! AAaaand I can't post a work anymore, what a bummer.

There's something just so satisfying about J-Lo being taken down a notch.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

don't worry, janey... we'll scootch over and leave you romm for when you get off work!

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Romm"? You might wanna ease up on the sauce there, Bunster.

9:49 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

y'know what's sad?
i posted that BEFORE hubby got home with the vodka!
well, spank me twice and call me horny.

or something like that!

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

OK!

p.s. glad yer back spanky!

11:29 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

ha,ha, i didn't even read that right. i missed the NOT part. she will NOT be playing sue ellen.

and i think maybe the japanese are sick and tired of getting bombs. smart cookies.

12:19 AM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

I love J to the Lo about as much as I love Ato theJ

damn thats a pain in the ass to write..
Spanks enligten me when you find out who Ninj is.
I would imagine after all of our late night toke n' chats he/she must have been mentioned.
I be curious.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Fuck I shouldnt type early morning.
way too many spelling errors..
Did I say late night toking?
late night...8 a.m. whatever.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

ohhh, ninja...

hmm. sounds like we could make a trade if you're willing. you and i have been wanting to know who dragulf is ( i actually have a couple of ideas, but i'm no longer making an ass of myself unless absolutely necessary)...cough up to them who you are, my delicious one, maybe they'll give us dragulf.

up to you, dear heart!

your fuzzy pal (do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get , uh, sticky stuff (that'll do) out of bunny fur? wd-40
has proven painful. i considered gasoline, like when we were little and came home from the beach with tar on our feet? but after thinking about it i realized it could be quite flammable, what with your hot bodily fluids being part of the problem.

email me, you hopeless ninja horndog, you!

ps. i think i definitely get it.

12:03 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I am just a reader of the Fish, hater of the lamebananas and poor imitation of comedy writing.

5:18 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

c'mon, big d.... give it up.....

naw, if you want to keep mum, that's okay. we understand.


evil

10:48 PM  

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