SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, August 24, 2006

MISCHA BARTON'S GAMS MAKE ME VOMIT

Take a good look here at the recently-upholstered Mischa Barton. She looks relatively normal; her legs look like the toned, fit legs of a twenty-something actress/model. But then, she turns, and:
What the fuck? I'm not entirely sure if that's Mischa or my great aunt Fannie Mae sporting cowboy boots. It looks like a fucking cheese souffle that collapsed on itself. All the dimpling and rippling and unholiness. It's just wrong.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Skinny people can have cellulite, too. It's a myth that only fat people get it.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

That's just something fat people say, fatty. Keep yourself anonymous.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can people please stop pretending this pig is attractive? Please? Her look, show, and fuck buddy all suck. Can we please just have her force fed like a Gitmo inmate?

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

She looks like she got shot in the back of the leg by Dick Cheney's shotgun...............

10:17 AM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Yeah, skinny people can get cellulite, it's call "chubby-chasing" and generally happens around last call.

I am so glad she didn't get my number.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Spank--that is gross! You however are a gossip goddess. As for the rest of you readers, I'm sitting on the USS Eisenhower providing that blanket of freedom you sleep under by reading celebrity gossip. I'm doing for my country of course.

--Your tax dollars at work.

10:43 AM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

No 20 year old should have cottage cheese legs. I think my great aunt has sexier legs than that.

11:10 AM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

Pete --

I'd like to sleep with you under that "blanket of freedom," if you know what I mean. And by "sleep" I mean, "do the nasty."

11:15 AM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Pete, Spank. Do YOu NOT remember the verbal bashing I once gave you on the subject of your "nasty" talk.
Visuals VISUALS,

12:41 PM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I can't believe nobody's used the term 'cottage cheese', because if that doesn't look like a lumpy spread of curdled milk, I don't know what does.

12:49 PM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Also, Pete, thanks for the 'blanket of freedom.' Just try not to jizz all over it with Spanks.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

That's what happens to long time submissives. The scars DO show after a bit.

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet she stomps on Cisco's balls in those boots.

2:09 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Smellypiratehooker, I did mention the cottage cheese.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suddenly wish I had some cottage cheese. Maybe Mischa can lend me some. I'll have to go to Paris for some STDs to go with it thought.

5:36 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

The spanked with a waffle-iron look doesn't bother me. She's such a cutie cute. I don't even mind the baby fist growing out of xiphoid process. Cute is cute :)

ninj

5:38 PM  
Blogger Showgrrrl said...

I prefer the term 'hail damaged'.
Makes it sound like a natural disaster ... but is insurable.
And obviously she didn't get crop insurance.

7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This picture made me feel so proud of myself.

7:51 PM  
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1:10 AM  
Blogger Char*lotte said...

Ok, so the back of her legs are petty vial!! But are you lot so perfect??

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

piracy affects porn but it's still winner during the crunch

12:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is porn the only winner during credit crunch?

7:18 AM  
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