Thursday, August 24, 2006


What should you do if a nurse tells you that you need more therapy? Punch him in the face, of course, and then throw a swear-riddled, arm-flailing, door-kicking tantrum.

That's precisely what Babyshambles front man Pete Doherty did Sunday night at the clinic where he's being treated for drug addiction. Apparently near-delirious without beloved cokewhore Kate Moss, he hit the nurse in the face, pounded on the walls with his hands, kicked the doors, and then screamed some choice words at the help.

I imagine getting punched by Pete Doherty would be like getting hit in the face with a giant marshmallow. A giant sweaty marshmallow that has severe halitosis and a smack problem. That guy has "Charter-Member-of-the-Trench-Coat-Mafia" written all over him: doughy, pasty, and ugly. You can bet your sweet ass that Pete -- before the band and the drugs -- played "Dungeons and Dragons" in the school cafeteria and laid claim to being a "half-elvin rogue/fourth level socerer." The kind of kid whose head you'd shove in the water fountain while he's getting a drink and then maybe force inside his own locker during gym class. I guess it makes sense that he'd have so much pent-up rage.



Anonymous easy e said...

Nice party-hat nipples. Ugh.

7:53 AM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

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8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I amazed how his eyes are always a lovely shade of Loreal Red Light District Whore. I bet some chicks are just green with envy over his natural, bloodshot glow.

9:03 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

Is that what you call "gin blossoms"?

9:11 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

dsquared- The next time (tonight) I go to the biker bar down the street,
I'm going to order a "Barbie Martini"

And then I'm gonna to get the shit kicked out of me.

(Those motorcycle boots hurt)

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

I was in Shock Trauma 3 years ago from a bad accident (Long story) and this nurse was giving me a sponge bath. I don't quite remember this from all the drug's they were giving me, but my mother told me that I said this shit and she couldn't believe it. Anyway, she had just got done giving me the sponge bath and then decided it was time for my Med's. I started yelling at her, "DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?" "DID YOU FUCKING WASH YOUR HANDS?" "YOU WERE JUST CLEANING MY BALLS AND NOW YOUR TRYING TO GIVE ME PILLS" "DID YOU FUCKING WASH YOUR HANDS?" Needless to say I embarrassed the shit out of my mom. I have no recollection of this, but I wish I did, because the shit sounds hilarious...............

10:08 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

I was that nurse, and the funny thing is, I'd actually touched like five other guys balls before yours and never washed my hands.

11:18 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

You said 'fuck' in front of your mom? What kind of son are you?

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

How were the meds?

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

I was on Morphine, oxycontin, and something else that I can't remember. I was pretty fucked up. I would never say that in front of her, ever. She's a full blooded Italian and would kick the shit out of me, not to mention I respect her immensely...................

1:24 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

tp21 nice. I remember you. You are the best nurse ever. You washed my balls and I blew like this humongous load in your hands and you rubbed it in all nicely like moisturizer and then you were like, "O.k I got to go now there's some meat head Italian in shock trauma who needs his meds and a rectal."

5:22 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

better late than never.


5:24 PM  
Anonymous stallion said...

LoL ninja, you dickhead.......

7:51 PM  
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