SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, August 25, 2006

SPANK IT YOURSELF 8.25.06

I guess Marc Anthony's spunk finally took. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

Would you like to smell like Lindsay Lohan's stank without actually having to fuck her? (Hollywood Tuna)

Tom Cruise has a new glib best friend. (Us Weekly)

Lindsay Lohan takes a lesson from Naomi Campbell. No, not the "coking it up" one, the "hitting your assistant" one. (A Socialite's Life)

41 Comments:

Anonymous Zanna said...

If Marc Anthony was my husband (and I would have hadto have been SHITFACED in Vegas to marry him)..he'd only be allowed to do me doggy-style. So I would NEVER have to see his cum-face. I can't even stand that picture of him on the bed. It just makes me want to yell, 'GET THE FUCK OFF ME'and he's not even on me...

oh wait..that's the shipping guy pressing his erect penis on my shoulder AGAIN. And to be honest, I kind of like it. gotta go...

12:34 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

It looks like he's having a candygasm, when you eat so much chocolate you feel like you're going to cum -- similar to the feeling one gets climbing the rope in gym class -- or maybe he just got fucked in the ass!

ninj

12:55 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Is that a fedora he's holding or is he just happy to see the Boston Gay Pride Parade?

1:08 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Ah, I see he's taking after Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, knocking J-Lo up to prove to the public that he is straight.

Fucking Mexicans.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

glib

2:05 PM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

I bet that Lindsay's new perfume will be called "Beaverhausen." LOL!

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

We are missing the part of the picture where Ninja is brushing his teeth...........

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Matt Lauer is an even bigger idiot than I thought.

Ninj, are you saying you like rope burns also?

As for Lind's smell. I'd imagine getting the crotch rot stank just right would be difficult.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous ninja's mom said...

You could leave a dead gerbil in a box of rotten eggs and then frappe it in a blender. I bet that would be about right.

Or you could bottle the stink out of ninja's underpants. About the same.

7:17 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

My pussy smells like a strawberry sundae.

8:24 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

But it tastes like chicken.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous ladyjane's hot pussy said...

it's true... sweet creamy strawberry sundae.... i love it when she talks about me. makes me quiver...

8:29 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Fuck, Jane! You just made me horny and hungry.

8:37 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

looks like i missed some fun today! steve and i were hangin' WAAY too late last night, and again too early this morning. and he's much more attractive than that anthony troll. yech.

sonya, if you read this one, pass my email on to chilly...

if not, will catch ya monday!!!

8:42 PM  
Blogger BIGMAC said...

Thats why THE VIKINGS HAVE HORNS. They don't do it.

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck the vikings go ravens

2:50 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...

Fuck Bigmac -- dude, your blog is in portugeuse.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous bigmac said...

Bring your asshole over to portugal and I'll show you a portugese asshole kicking.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stop picking on the new guy.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whose the new guy? The spic?

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Tranny's aunt Asmerelda Snickerpiss Weinberg said...

Tranny get home at once and get this corn-dog out of my rectum.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose

12:36 PM  
Anonymous I am really a gorilla said...

Calling someone a spic is very racist I do not approve.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous I'm not racist said...

How does a black woman know she's pregnant?

She peels a banana and shoves it up her cunt, if a bite has been taken out of it when she pulls it out, she is pregnant.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Dr. gynocorn said...

How does Zanna know she pregnant?

She shoves a corn-dog up her cunt ... ... ...

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gay

1:19 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny RULES!!! said...

Ah, I love the people who are so scared of my wrath they won't even attempt to insult me or Zanna under their usual handle. Makes me feel all warm inside to know that I make people shit themselves thru a fucking computer. Keep up the good work, sissy's.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Trannygranny, I will insult you under my usual handle if you like. I don't really have anything bad to say about you tho. I enjoy transgender grandmas. I hope to be one some day.

7:20 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Fuck you all....

both my kids have been barfing since Monday.... nothin' like being vomited on at 2 am for 5 nights running...

I smoked a fat one last night and fucked my hubby's brains out....

True story.

9:53 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

And I believe I am about to spark one up right now!!!

True fucking story

9:54 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

i would NEVER try to pick a fight with the granny's.
i've been promised corndogs.

aw, damn. local fair opened yesterday. i'm sure i could find a corndog stand, but i KNOW it will never be the same.

*SOB*

if you'll come out here, i make fabulous jello shots, and mai tais to kill.

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Tranny said...

I can't sleep and it sucks.

A-beav....General statement to the masses, but thanks for the offer, consider a complimentary corndog in your near future.

Lady.....That sux, I'll blow some smoke your direction, Indian style.

Evil b.....Jeez, I love Mai Tais, let's rock!!!! Have you heard the Refreshments "Mekong"? That awesome song turns me into an alcaholic (not sure what that has to do with Mai Tai's, just sounds oriental)

4:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aren't you the scary one. Everyone beware the Tranny.

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Fuck yourself Tranny you waste of cumulus! said...

Suck that handle, bitch!

2:13 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

damn, tranny, i know what you mean about not sleepin'.
i would like to blame jimmy buffett for my budding alcoholism, but "it's my own damn fault"!

2:25 PM  
Anonymous evil monkey said...

Hey, Evil Bunny,

Want to get to gether and have an evil bunkey?

5:03 PM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I wonder who would actually wear a perfume that smells like Lindsay Lohan.

5:23 PM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Other than Brandon Davis, I mean.

5:26 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Now, now... let's all get back to what is truely important here:

My cuntastic beaver... shaved, spicy and truly a full meal deal...

6:47 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Fuck me... I can't believe I misspelled truley/truely/truly...

I'm going to masturbate now.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

CORNDOG?!?! Wow, Thanks Tranny!

I love corndogs.

I wish I could get my boyfriend to dip his cock in corndog batter.

We'd both win: I'd get the tasty fried dough and he'd get head more often.

9:39 PM  

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