SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, August 31, 2006

SPANK IT YOURSELF 8.31.06


Aretha Franklin's bosom hangs by a thread. (Dlisted)

Pink gets the football party started. (E!)

First, K-Fed gets a spot on CSI; now he's landed a role in Entourage. Two shows just made the "DEAD TO ME" list. (Celebitchy)

Lance Armstrong trades riding his bike for riding Paris Hilton. (WWTDD?)

Lisa Rinna is a man, baby! (I'mBringingBloggingBack)

Willie Nelson let Johnny Knoxville have a hit off his doobie. (Us Weekly)

A CNN newsanchor accidentally leaves her mic on in the bathroom during President Bush's commemorative Katrina address. I'm guessing she just flushed her career down the crapper. (Hot Air)

35 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I said goddamn!!!

It's cool though, she will survive....

12:25 PM  
Anonymous italian stallion said...

I put in Stallion, why anonymous?

12:26 PM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

She doesn't have a stylist. Just a hunch. Or else he's stuck somewhere in the fleshy folds of those ginormous tities.

12:30 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

I have hated Lisa Rinna for years. She's f'ing freaky as hell. And ugly.

Aretha Franklin...*stunned silence*....

And I'd smoke pot with Willie Nelson any damn day, if for no other reason than I could say I had.

12:45 PM  
Anonymous My Well Rehearsed Mistake said...

Damn... that's a scary picture of Aretha. I'm afraid to look again in case I get swallowed whole by them bazookas

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Damn! Now that is racist if I ever seen racist! MY EYES ARE SCREAMING! Damn it Spankcheeks!

Yeah, she'll survive but what about the poor bloke underneath her?

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are there back to back posts of Mariah Carey?

1:12 PM  
Anonymous jrzmommymustdie said...

Damn, you took my Mariah joke!

The necklace was a nice touch.

Willie Nelson is a cool dude. I'd be proud to say I toked with him.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Gross. Fat people are disgusting.

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not Mariah Carey, dumbass! It's Kelly Clarkson with a spray on tan.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

gawd, i love willy!

hey, 'cheeks, how do i put my evil bunny pic up? i never did figure out avatars and such.

1:32 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Arethas chacha's are the new oyster. A tiny grain of a lost KFC wing and lookey lookey some shiney ol' pearls appear.

Pretty talented if you ask me.. Since they string 'em too.

1:39 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Those are some of the heaviest mammaries I've laid eyes on, good Lord Almighty!!
Willie is the man!

2:11 PM  
Anonymous spatz said...

It looks like two watermelons encased in nude colored pantyhose and then suspended from a big fat potato head.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm... some disgruntled fishface has a crush on Jrzmommy...

2:36 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

WTF is Aretha thinking? Maybe she's been smokin' the doobage, cuz that bitch must spend all her time eating. Yuck.

3:20 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

I once filled a condom up with water to see how big it would get. I thought it was big. Apparantly not.

Maybe she has an over-active thyroid.

good to see spatz here.


ninj

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Ninj...can we assume that was an XL condom?

4:09 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

I think so too anonymous, somebody has a major fixation on Jrzmommy.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Her nipples must be the size of hub caps.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Clayton Bigsby said...

One of them koons came to my house one night to pick up my sister. I said "Look here nigger, if anyone is gonna be having sex with my sister, it's gonna be me".

6:08 PM  
Blogger smokemypipe said...

someboby milk her before she blows

6:31 PM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Somebody punch her in the face before I throw up!

8:05 PM  
Anonymous therearethosewhocallmetim said...

I heard about that CNN newslady this morning on the way to work. Boy was I disappointed that you don't hear her take a piss! I was expecting it to be more like that scene from the Naked Gun 2 when Lt Frank Drebin takes a leak with an open mic while the Queen is being introduced.

8:25 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

I need to politely ask for a new thread, cuz that picture of Aretha is really starting to freak me out....

9:07 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

ladyjane, I'm with you...every time I open this page i think my eyes are about to burn out of my skull. her breast is bigger than her head...

9:09 PM  
Anonymous morningglory said...

Did you notice the pimples around where the nipple would be? It would take a barrel of ProActiv to dry out dem tit-tays.

Long time reader, first time poster! Y'all are hilarious!

9:26 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Those aren't pimples, morningglory, they're blood vessels bursting from the weight. They are gonna blow!

And she's never gonna find those pearls now that they've gotten lost in the caverns of her chest.

Welcome, morning glory, by the way. Our respective clits, penises, and nipples are glad to have ya.

9:44 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Why do certain heavily pigmented segments of society insist on naming their kids after parts of the digestive system? I present the following:

Urethra Franklin
Colon Powell
Pee Diddy

9:57 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

twzzlr- Speak for yourself, my ballsack and freshly Spanked Cheeks are glad to welcome morningglory aboard.

"Welcome aboard" Did you notice the nautical theme?


morningglory, you're next in the Spankatorium.

10:23 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

I betchoo can play double dutch with those big sloppies.

11:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

love life

9:24 AM  
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12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love minnesota

2:32 AM  
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8:22 AM  

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