SPANK CHEEKS

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

TAKE A 'RIDE' WITH EVA MENDES


This month's issue of Flaunt magazine has a pretty sexy layout of actress Eva Mendes. It's nice and all, but not really worth mentioning (in fact, I was just perusing for Mendestic nipple slips, to be honest) but I caught the words Ghost Rider out of the corner of my eye and the layout instantly became newsworthy. Upon reading the words "co-starring with Nic Cage in the comic book adaptation of Ghost Rider," I did a comedic double-take -- replete with a "Whaaa?" and an incredulous neck crane towards the monitor -- before a midget in a bow tie threw a glass of water in my face and snapped me back to reality.

Well... I think that's what happened. I might have been having another acid flashback and just pissed my pants again. I don't know anymore. Bottom line, I was wet, either from a glass of midget-water or my own urine. However, I do know for sure that Eva Mendes is starring in the Marvel Comic's cinematic colossus about a flaming un-dead skeleton motorcycle rider, so that ought to suck the sexy right out of these pictures. Meet the new patron saint for seventh grade boys everywhere.

Source

18 Comments:

Anonymous easy e said...

This sucks! Why am I being 'moderated'?

6:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This seems awfully 'Bolshevik' you know, for a patriotic comment-hater like yourself.

6:51 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

I hate it when midgets throw water in my face,
but I hate it worse when they touch me with their vienna sausage like fingers.

Creepy


♪♪Trolls, trolls
go away...
No one cares
what you have to say.♪♪

7:07 AM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

I'm really sorry to do this, guys. Some faggot got on last night and copied and pasted the same comment over and over, calling me a "untalented racist cunt."

Which I am, of course, but you don't need to hear that 75 times. That's fucking tired.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous xxx said...

Sorry, Spanks! The troll will give up after awhile. They always do, if you don't feed them

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

I think this chick is hot, she was good in that movie Crash. Speaking of Crash, I wish she would hike up that skirt a little more, and show her world to me................


I fucking hate people who go to sites just to piss and moan about how they don't like it. I think Suicidal's attempt to bring people may have failed, in that the wrong motherfuckers came...........

9:03 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Spanks- That faggot troll is dead wrong, you're not "untalented".

That trick you do with you tongue requires a whole lotta talent!


Nary I say... better then twzzlr??

9:05 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Stallion- I'm ImSucidial- I'm not making excuses here, but you can't blame the troll problem solely on me.
I've also "advertised" for The Grannys and they don't have a troll problem yet, posters are showing up though, not just because of me, but to be a successful blog, the word has to get out.

The bigger this site becomes, the more the trolls will crawl out from under their bridges and appear.

Take the good with the bad... and laugh at it.


Excuse me for preaching

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

I'm sorry, maybe that didn't sound right. I definately wasn't blaming it on you. I'm glad you were doing what you were doing. I was just making an observation. You guy's are all hilarious, and I'm glad there is a sanctuary from the fish troll's. I agree though, once these assholes see we went somewhere else, they followed. I hope this place does get more popular, and I'm glad that you brought over the ones you did. Sorry if you took that the wrong way bitch, LOL.........

Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
you let your knickers down

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
You are the walrus
Goo goo g' joob................

10:43 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I think I know who the troll is, and I thought they were off the fish after the handle stealing incident of several months ago. That's how I came to this site in the 1st place!

12:20 PM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

The bigger you get, the more trolls come aknockin. It's the law of proportions:

More visitors=more potential trolls

2:49 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Thanks Stallion.
All is right with the world again.




(I don't even know what the fuck that means)


P.S. What IS a "crabalocker fishwife"?

They had the best drugs in the sixties!!

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Italian stallion said...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=20385689

I found a Crabalocker Fishwife, seriously. If this doesn't work, just google Crabalocker Fishwife and go down until you see the myspace page of crabalocker fishwife................

Who'd a thunk.............

10:02 PM  
Anonymous remmy rifkin said...

I married a fishwife. I wish she'd carry a sign and keep her stinky meat trap shut. Women everywhere take a lesson from Jessica.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous remmy rifkin said...

That came out a lot angrier than it was supposed to! "The Lesson" I'm referring to is the lesson about having big boobs and being easily tricked.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Stallion- An 18 year old Crabalocker Fishwife huh!

We should grab ninja and all climb into Trannys '68 VW bus and hightail it up, over or down to Dover Delware and gangbang (or gang rape if she's unwilling)the living shit out of her.

I've got gas money and beef jerky.

(Ninja gets sloppy fourths!)

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

Walrus:

I live in Baltimore, Maryland. Delaware is like a 2 hour drive. Find your own pussy.........LOL


Sike, she's only 18, and not that attractive. Stallion wouldn't even give her a second look...........

8:52 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Stallion- dude, her name is CRABALOCKER FISHWIFE.

She could look like a snaggletoothed tranny granny! (No offense trannygranny)

Just to be able to fuck a Beatle lyric, would make it worth my while.

8:37 PM  

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