SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

TIE A YELLOW RIBBON 'ROUND LINDSAY LOHAN'S TWAT

Lindsay Lohan says that she wants visit the troops in Iraq in the September issue of Elle magazine.
"I've been trying to go to Iraq... for so long. I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."
You know, I never understood the impetus behind terrorist groups and suicide bombers until now. Like Hezbollah, I have the same blind rage and unyielding hatred -- only instead of hating an entire race of people, my rancor is directed at one stupid, attention-starved cooze who insists on participating in dance-offs and boxing in a bikini. I could strap a bomb to my midsection and go to the premiere of one of her shitty movies, effectively cleansing the West of such a skanky blight. "Al-Allah Spankcheeks." Who knows? Maybe I'll score 10,000 virgins in the process.

Source

36 Comments:

Anonymous Zanna said...

Maybe she can take Hannoush with her.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous BarbadoSlim said...

So Lindsay's planning on decimating the bulk of US troops by opening her stupid disease ridden shithole to "sing" to the boys in uniform, then finishing the rest by opening her filthy cunt to each and every platoon

11:11 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Spanks, Congratulations you have posted the first picture of Lohan not wearing a fucking bikini.

I have to say she's looking quite ravishing, give or take the chandelier's hanging from her lobes. Not looking as ass-clown-faced as usual. Good choice of lipstick. I'd let her blow me.

********************
Bunny: I fear you are not getting my E-mails. They are getting re-routed some how, I know this because my mom just E-mailed me wondering when I'm going to come over and Ram her 'balloon-knot' with 18 oz. of prime Manderloin. Whoops.
*********************


Zanna: I don't know if you've heard but Hannoush will be out of commission for a while, he did not do very well at his first day of 'Suicide Bomber Training Camp'. He seemed very promising, making it through the first obstacle course with flying colors, but on the second obstacle course... he seemed to faulter and lose very much needed valuable time, not sure what the malfunction could have been... speculation of many corndogs found in vicinity. More news on that later.


Is Dragulf male or female?


ninj

11:33 AM  
Anonymous monkey love said...

Good to see Barbado over here! Welcome to cheeks' closet!

11:39 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Glad to see Barbado is here. You may know me on the Fish as Hopeless_Screenwriter.

Who is Chillytatas?

Dragulf: I know you are Dragulf, but I'm not sure of your age or gender or sexual preference; I'm kinda hoping you are not a 12 yr. old boy with acne. O.k., I didn't mean that, I mean that I hope you don't have acne, ah what the hell... I guess a little acne is o.k.

11:47 AM  
Blogger pinky_nip said...

I'm embassed to be of the same species as Lindsay.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you don't think referecing hezbollah is a little... un-PC? maybe a little premature?

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she's aspires to be a sex kitten?

i think she is more like misha's pussy... stupid and only knows one trick... blowin in bikinis

12:36 PM  
Anonymous easy e said...

I consider myself a prophet of "Al-Allah Spankcheeks." I speak only the truth.

2:22 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Hiya ninj, I am alaskanchicsickle on the SF. I was going to say if you could guess who I was you get one wish granted, but I'm easy, do with me as you wish.

2:39 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Alaskanchicsickle. I would have never guessed. Hmmm. Prepare to be reamed often and plentifully.

I'll start you off by testing your 'Hyperaeromaneuverosity'; it sounds more complicated than what it is,... it's basically seeing how long you can be held upside-down while being 'Tongue-Borked' in an elevator without passing out.

The record is 47 seconds.

Did I mention my tongue is 7 inches long.

Good that you are here.

Ninj

2:54 PM  
Anonymous showgirl87 said...

Tongue-borked?

Where can I sign up for that?

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I hope she goes and takes Jane Fonda with her :)

Wordsmith and all the rest,
I am 34, Male, and I enjoy fucking women, a lot. Posting a picture link of me at 28. yes, 28. I am now FAT, and have a beard.
http://aopics.50megs.com/cgi-bin/i/images/runn.jpg


P.S. Ya wondering wankers. Dragulf and Runn are my online characters I used to play.

3:06 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

@ Showgirl87
Bend-over and I'll show you. Reveal yourself my horny little rogue.


@ Dragulf.
So what you're saying is that you are not a 12 year old boy with acne? Damn. You just completely fucked a perfectly good fantasy. Can I be given a BIGGER GLASS of SUCK please, it was bad enough finding out BunnyHugger is older than my mom... now this! What the fuck!

However, now that I know who you are, I might still let you blow me.

And I enjoy fucking women too, a lot, especially the ones named Steve.

ninj

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

ROFL! Ninja, you can have my mom. She is 68 ;p but my dad might mind...

5:08 PM  
Anonymous WalrusGumboot said...

"cock-ninja" - Hopeless_, is that you??? It's me "Suicidal"!!!
Is this where all the "cool" people hang out? Kind of like under the bleachers in high school?
You like my new alter ego?? I stole it from the Beatles!

5:10 PM  
Anonymous BarbadoSlim said...

I'm about to post something that I never thought I would post anywhere:

Thanks for the welcome Cock-ninja is good to be here.


hehehehe, seriously it's good to see you bastards posting here, keep the the site updated and you've got a regular.

Ps: thanks for the love,...er Monkey Love :)

5:33 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

oh, ninj, darling--
fuck me!
i kid, i kid.

and nope....no emails. unless you're bullshitting me.
ninj, bullshit? no, never. ; )

janey's not only been busted at work, but her home monitor blew up.

chillytatas-- my little eskimo pie! had no idea that was you!

this is all getting strangely like a class renunion in the twilight zone!

AAAANNNNDDD on topic, i am packing up a pair of those cool sound blocking headphones for my boy going overseas. i'm afraid her singing may be dangerous, much like the sound of a cat in a blender. he's on his own for eye patches (haarrgh!)

5:36 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

you aren't gay, sweetie, you just never had it done right!
(lol)

6:13 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

o.k. I've been trolled by jrzpussie. I knew he would find me, awesome. That was not my post above you, Bunny hugger. And are your tits as awesome as you say?


Fuck yeah Walrusgumboot. I kinda liked the I'm Suicidal thing though. If you get the chance read the thread with like 150 comments, that was the party in the closet. Under the bleachers is cool too. And oh yeah, suck my ass, fuckwad.

Bunny,... lastly I sent you an E-mail on Saturday and I think your Hubby might have nabbed it. It was one with a picture of me naked with like seventeen towels hanging from my erection, I have the record in our dorm.

Did I mention the towels were wet?
Think about it.

Ninj

6:43 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

shit. the whole reason we came here (hee-hee) was to avoid the trolls. so help me, if lame bananas shows up, i'm off the boards for good.

and the last msg. sounds a bit more like you. and hubby doesn't nab my emails :)

interesting. mental. image. though.

you have my email, darlin'.

6:59 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

It might be lamebananas, but I'll kick his ass here and he knows it, just like I made his head explode last week and put him out of commision for like three days. He likes to pick on jrzmommy more than anything though.

ninj

7:11 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

and lameass sticks to janey like a horny barnicle.

'member when this used to be fun?

BTW, i kinda figured that one wasn't you, re: the lol!

i am OUTTA HERE for today. xo

7:46 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

I kindly request that all douchebags hijacking other poster's names GET THE FUCK OFF MY SITE.

I WILL DELETE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS. Jesus.

7:50 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Mmmm thanks for the warm welcome ninj, I almost passed out just reading that, oh God!
Bun-buns, I have a soft spot for lagomorphs, even evil ones.
Hey, I love the SF, but I was missing some of my favorite people, I love you guys :)

7:56 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Uh, Lindsey is all of 20, right??? How FUCKING dare she compare herself to Marilyn? That is IT, she is now not even worthy of my beer farts...

Cunt.

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh heh heh... you said "farts."

8:33 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

I do agree. Farts are really funny. Nothin' like a good sneeze, good fart, and good orgasm...

8:52 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Ok, I'm in a mood, hubs just pissed me off something good and I need to vent? Any ideas?

9:41 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

chilly, go to bed and masturbate really fucking LOUD.

Come a couple times.

That'll show him.

10:32 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Ladyjane, I will be thinking of Ninj, Tranny, and Jakey, thanks for the advice. Night everyone, I'm going to have a good night after all.

11:33 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

spankcheeks & cock-ninja - I come in peace. Sorry, I was the one trolling cock-ninja.
I was checking to see if posing was possible, and it is. I thought if your name was in "blue" you were troll proof. I used cock-ninja because I knew he would understand (him being in the "garment" business and all) We smokem peace pipe now!!!

spankcheeks - In all seriousness, I am in no way trying to tell you how to run your site, but as more people storm in here, there is going to be problems with posers and trolls. You might want to think about a security system.

A concerned blogger
and a little suicidal,
walrus gumboot

12:29 AM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

With the utmost sincerity, Ninj, you might want to be careful advertising Spanks and T and Z's sites. I mean having I'm Suicidal is one thing, but a bunch of crazy assholes will be trolling these sites in no time. Tiene mas cuidado, or I'm gonna have to spank you mucho.

1:22 AM  
Anonymous dsquared said...

Effing trolls! Stay away!!!

7:48 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

There will always be trolls, tired of worrying about them lurking. I think security is safe here, and cheeks will keep a monitor. It's not that big a deal. Wasn't trying to advertise. People were wondering were I was because Mr. Fish put me on fucking 'Censor Alert' for a day for being to vulgar. I have no clue why the cunt fucking piss shit they find me vulgar! Seriously.

Thanks alot Fucking Walrus. You got me in trouble. What the fuck? I invite you here and then you troll me. Nice move ass-wipe.
Get your name in 'Blue' so I know who you are from now on.

BLUE = GOOD
BLACK = BAD

ninj

8:59 AM  
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