Monday, August 21, 2006


Here are some new pictures of Tom and hostage "Kate" leaving Mastro's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills Friday night. Miraculously, after a nearly three month incarceration, Kate seems to be all over the place. Now I wasn't actually there at the steakhouse, so I can't say for sure what's going on in these shots, but I can make a pretty good guess. Reporter's intuition, you know.

Tom: You see how red my face is? See how my eyes glow like the devil's? I will not hestitate to fuck you up. I swear. So you better smile and act like you're having the time of your fucking life. Do it. I swear to Xenu I'll kill you in your sleep.

Kate: Okay.

Tom (through clenched smile): That looks like paparazzi... yeah, it's definitely press. Okay, look really happy. Smile with your eyes. It's called method acting. Smile. Turn and -- what the fuck is the chef doing out here? Did he follow us out? Did you say something to him? Has he called the cops? You are one glib cooze! I'm Tom Cruise! I'll go L. Ron Hubbard on his ass. I swear. He's dead. He's fucking dead. Glib bastard.

Kate: (smiles)

Tom (still smiling): Okay, now you're going to get in the car, still looking happy, and when we get home it's three hours in the chamber. Three hours. Do you hear me? Keep fucking smiling.

Kate: Please, Mr. Cruise, I --

Tom: I said keep fuckin' smiling! I swear to Xenu! I will not hesitate to end your fucking useless glib life! Now get in the motherfucking car. Catholics. Ooh... who's the hottie over there in the silver tie? If only you had a penis. Or five penises. At least some balls. Get in the fucking car already.

Photo Source


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kind of morbid!

8:41 AM  
Anonymous topaz21 said...

... and hysterical! LMAO!

8:59 AM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Tom, stop staring at my tits!

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

... they won't turn into a cock!


9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

spanks that was probably the most hilarious thing i ever read. youre a fucking poet. you should write a book. i'm still laughing here and its monday morning. normally i dont do laughter on monday mornings but this got me.

9:29 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Spanks, you are going to have to stop reading David Mamet screenplays. Did enjoy the Stanislavski reference though.

Been trying to catch up with all the posts. This may take a while. There is so much gordeous snatch that I have missed out on lately.

Bunny: send me more swimsuit pics. (Need more auto-erotic input). You have incredulous breasts.

Twizz: ummm ... try to read my mind! ... You got it! You are amazing!!!

Walrus: No comment until I catch up with the posts.

10:41 AM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Ninj!glad to have you back!

10:55 AM  
Anonymous mp said...

awesome way to start a monday
kate does have a cock...its a personalized strap on with LRon's head for the head. That way Tom gets his fix for the day in the most pleasuring way... up the poopshoot

11:41 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

twzzlr- How do we know ninja's back for good?
He lures us over here with all the hopes and dreams of a WOP going through Ellis Island, then turns around and deserts us like we're lepers!
I say we cut off his cock-ninja, and stuff it down hit throat!!

11:57 AM  
Anonymous gemble said...


12:10 PM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Bwah ha ha ha ha!

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's some funny shit there, Spanks. Looking at the pictures makes it extra-funny.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I have never seen a more red faced butt pirate in my life.
Maybe Katie embarrased him right as they went outside by saying "If you let me go soon, I'll strap on the 'big boy' when we get home."
He looks like a little devil.
Tom said that seeing as there was a Tooth fairy already instead he could be the Butt fairy. He flies into the room and pulls dingleberries and clingons and leaves money.


2:11 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

aw, ninj, you make me blush!

email me, you horny bastard!

btw, i think walrus is bogarting the good stuff. based on his posts a couple of days ago!


2:27 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Tom has a classic case of "Short-Man Syndrome".

2:34 PM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

Nothing to say other than dragulf I enjoyed the reason as to why Toms face was so brightly blushed.

I giggled.

2:44 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Dragulf: You must have a lot of pets. Are you sure you are not the butt fairy?

Also: Strap on the 'big boy'? Strap on the 'big boy'? I'm gonna let that seek in a bit before I respond.


3:39 PM  
Anonymous butt-fairy said...

I would NEVER let anyone call me a "cock-ninja." That's just foul.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

Pretty funny shit right there.......

Nothing else really to say that you guy's didn't cover on this faggot. Well I guess theres always one thing


7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do Katie and Tom have that creepy Children of the Corn glow to their eyes?

11:14 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

because they're EVIL, sonya, evil, i tells ya!

lordy, you're up late!

so, like, HI!

the fluffy one

this is the toughest addiction i've ever faced!!! xo

2:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually buns, this blog is set to Spank's time, which is EST. I don't do midnight, unless I'm doing my hubby.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

my bad. of course i know we're on eastern time here.
sorry about that.

8:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home