SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, September 07, 2006

MARIAH TANS HER HIDE


Mariah Carey loves the Mystic Tan. She insists on being coated with it on her "Emancipation of Mimi" tour, even going so far as to hire someone whose exclusive job is to laquer her bovine figure before every show for the rest of the tour. According to Page Six, Mimi's rep divulged
"[The self-tanner chick] is on tour with Mariah and they are developing an exclusive line of bronzer containing real 24-karat gold dust."
Coating a black person with self-tanner on a bi-weekly basis sounds like some kind of Sisyphus-ian hell to me. Can a black person ever be too tan? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? What is the square root of 9,760,034? There just are some questions that will never be answered in our lifetime.

Source

19 Comments:

Anonymous easy e said...

Isn't Mariah Carey part white? Or is she like Tiger Woods and only claims one race.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Italian stallion said...

I know she's part Hippo, I don't know about the white part.........

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She looks more white than black but she claims an african american heritage.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She looks more white than black but she claims an african american heritage.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She actually looks pretty good in that picture, looks like she's lost some weight.

9:27 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I hate anonymous posters. Who the F are you? Argh.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a 14 year old girl, I was home sick today and was bored so thought I would check some blogs out. This one is ok, but I think that guy Stallion is a jerk. He probably gets off on girls my age who haven't developed fully yet. What a pervert. Hopefully all of the girls and women in his family are stick thin or he would treat them like doodie.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Anon--I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that you're a fattie?

11:15 AM  
Anonymous venusflygirl said...

Nice try anastasia, but I'm a size 4. I just am not a jerk, I have friends that are heavy, I don't discriminate.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous fat girls are liars said...

No, definitely smells like a fatty to me.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're probably just smelling your upper lip.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

TAN...

The other white meat.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous anonymouses are pussies said...

No, maybe it's your stinky pussy I'm smelling.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Fat bitches don't even give good head said...

Don't be mad fatty that Stallion would never even give you a first look, much less a second. All the women in my family are thin and beautiful, so fuck you!!! I'm not here to not make fun of fat shits like yourself, I'm here to joke around. If you can't take it, not my problem, don't blame your Haggendaz problem on me. I never fucked with you, so why start with me? Stop hiding behind your name, then come talk to me, coward........

Oh yea, Uncle Gusieppe told me to tell you to "Go Fuck Yourself"..........

12:55 PM  
Anonymous venusflygirl said...

Oh Stallion, I'm still a minor, but you're the one acting like an immature asshole. You don't even know what I look like. I wouldn't send you my picture anyway, I wouldn't want you wanking off to it, you perv.

1:42 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

hmmm.
i smell troll. or could it be a ninj in hiding?
those posts were too grammatically correct for a 14 yr. old.

and even if it IS a 14 yr. old: do your parents know you're online?

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aahhhh only in this day and age will a quadroon get called black. Cher is half American Indian but we don't call her native american or cameron diaz who is 1/4 cuban (not a race but she still is of Latino heritage) and 1/4 native american but people recognize her as a white woman, wentworth miller he's really mixed up but about 1/3 of him is pf color, etc. but when someone is 1/2 black or even less we dub them black....interesting.

9:54 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I hear black girls' pussy smells like chitlins. Actually, I didn't hear it, I smelt it - but let's not get bogged down in the semantics of the functions of our sensory glands...

Smelts: a family, Osmeridae, of small anadromous fish. They are common in the North American Great Lakes, and run in large schools along the coastline during their spring migration to their spawning streams. The family consists of some 16 species in six genera

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1:39 AM  

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