SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, September 08, 2006

NICOLE RICHIE VISITS THE DOCTOR


Lionel Richie says he took daughter Nicole to a doctor, who assured him she’s not anorexic. MSN elaborates
“I stood in front of [the doctor], just like you and I now," [Richie said]. "I looked him in the eyes, and I said ‘Is it anorexia?’ And he said ‘It isn’t anorexia."

[Lionel] says Nicole’s weight loss is “stress-related” and he believes it’s due to his divorce from her mother and from all the media attention his daughter gets. “I live with the constant fear that Nicole is going to become the next Princess Diana... I always know when Nicole is on her way home because she is always followed by a helicopter and seven cars. It’s harassment.”
Lionel also claims that tabloid shots of Nicole are photoshopped to make her appear even skinnier than she is.

I don't know what kind of "doctor" Lionel took Skeletor to, but any physician that appraises her emaciated frame and lifeless skin and thinning hair and then proclaims her eating-disorder free is a fucking hack. For the record, spiritual healers are not doctors. Also, if the sign above the office reads "The Doktor Is In" and it's hand-lettered on a cardboard sign in an alleyway that smells like tinkle, probably not a doctor either. Trust me on that one.

Source

17 Comments:

Anonymous easy e said...

You know, spanks, I've been your first commenter on EVERY post this week. Do I get a prize or something? A handjob? Anything?

7:14 AM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

A helicopter???? Really???

Oh, Lionel.... silly, silly has-been.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous My Well Rehearsed Mistake said...

Don't they live in the Hollywood Hills? Surely many more famous people than Nicole come and go everyday without the use of helicoptors to get photos. I mean I know the bitch is skinny but that's just stupid.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Well, I for one am all for anorexia. I mean c'mon gals, no one wants to fuck a fattie!

9:44 AM  
Anonymous nicole richie's skinny beaver said said...

I happen to think I'm really important.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Ana Beaver- I'll fuck a big fat beaver, if it's first name is Anastasia!

Doktor Spanks, at what time will you be administering the bare-assed spankings??

10:30 AM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Wally--my beaver is phat, not fat.

But I will accept your offer all the same.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

AB, my mistake.

As soon as I find ninja, we'll high-tail it over there for an old fashioned, down and dirty threesome!

12:00 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

NP Wally, I'll just flick my bic until you arrive...

12:35 PM  
Anonymous morning glory said...

MY docktor smells like tinkle most of the time. Is that bad? ;)

2:14 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

My doctor makes me split my scripts with her as long as I don't tell the feds. That's how I got my awesome personality and easy-going attitude.

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

of course it's not anorexia. it's bulemia, you dumbass.

8:19 AM  
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