SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, September 07, 2006

PARIS BLOWS... A .08

TMZ is reporting that overexposed socialite Paris Hilton was arrested Thursday morning for a DUI. Paris blew a .08 after leaving a charity event in Hollywood, and if convicted, Paris will be given three months' probation and have her license restricted for 90 days. The LAPD will not be releasing her mug shot to the public, but I'm betting the unstoppable internet will leak it sometime today. TMZ spoke with Paris as she was driving home from jail, saying
[Paris] says she "regrets it occurred," and adds that she has been up for 24 hours, having shot a music video all day... Paris says she had nothing to eat and no rest the entire day.
Just how Paris hasn't been arrested for a DUI before is a mystery to me. How many video clips do we need of her stumbling and giggling like a moron before she sloshes into her car with some sweaty companions and then speeds away? Really. I have sex with a minor and videotape it one time and the cops are all over me. Fucking pigs always keep a sister down.

Thanks to spank-nasty AE2 CVN69, Italian Stallion and Zeze for the lead(s).

Source

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paris, can you taste the comeuppance?

9:07 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

This is exactly the kind of thing I enjoy turning to spankcheeks for, however I am not kidding this was breaking news on my local NBC affilate this morning. Like "Holy crap stop the presses we're just getting word that Paris Hilton was drunk! I cannot even begin to count the ways that this is not news.

9:18 AM  
Anonymous ZeZe said...

They had a full segment on Today Show this morning with some celebrity reporter. They really made it a huge deal.
What I want to see is the handcuffed pictures. Frilly pink extra large handcuffs That's hot
GAH!

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this site is classless
to joke about such things as sex with children
you should all be ashamed of yourselves
what if a child were to seeyour site?

9:29 AM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

Edna, is that you?? Wait, shouldn't you be on your knees praying or something?

As for Paris, why do I care that she hadn't eaten anything? Yeah, I get that drinking on an empty stomach is, well... fucking stupid. Whatever. Why didn't she just blow the cop? Might've saved her the trip to the station.

9:35 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

So, does semen have alcohol in it or what?

9:47 AM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

Hahaha... I can just see a new high protein cocktail. What kinda alcohol goes with semen anyway? I'm thinking tequila...

(yeah, not what you meant, but that pic of Pam Anderson still has my brain fried, sorry)

9:50 AM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

I agree with Anon you all should be ashamed of yourselves!

YOU HAVE ALL BEEN REPORTED!!

That's right, fuckers, I'm working with Edna now! Doing the Lord's work!

10:03 AM  
Anonymous edna bambrick blows the devil said...

She's one of many stupid bitches that should have gotten hers years ago. Karma has it's way with sluts, too.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous italian stallion said...

I let children look through my site all the time, how else are they gonna learn to hit a black target. I tell them aim for the teeth, it's the only thing you can really see in the dark.............

Annoyalot can go suck a 10 year old peter...........

12:43 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

I love Anastasia Beaverhausen. Please don't go!

To Ms Hilton,
Excuses are like assholes and rotten, smelly pussies. We all have one (except only the ladies have the pussies) and they all stink.


(ninj, your fly is down)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

stallion, i love you!

i was going to say something about this bitch getting off so light, but my idiot son still doesn't have a license 2-1/2 years later? but it sounds like i think HE got a raw deal.
actually, i think he deserved it, i'm just pointing out that "celebrities" get special treatment.

of course, i could just be drunk.

7:32 PM  

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