SPANK CHEEKS

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A "SIT DOWN" WITH THE FIRECROTCH

I always thought that the insult "firecrotch" referenced the red hair that comprised Lindsay Lohan's bush. You know, the whole "the curtains match the carpet" bit. Well, have a look at this picture of The Firecrotch up close and personal.

It is now apparent that the term "firecrotch" actually refers to her waxing her genitals bare and then inviting a swarm of fire ants to descend upon her pubic mound and feast. It seems the only logical conclusion for that unnatural color. Instead of your typical "pink taco" vagina, it's more like a "magenta catcher's mitt." The photo below is technically NSFW, but it doesn't even look like a real vagina, so you could probably get away with it if you wanted to sneak a peek. Those are either the external labia, or very very tiny testicles.



A sloppy, open-mouthed kiss goes out to the delicious Zanna for the tip.

Source

32 Comments:

Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Yea! "Beaver in the mornin', Beaver in the evenin', Beaver at suppertime..."

A puss slip is pricelss.

6:56 AM  
Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

Priceless. Sorry.

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

her vagina looks wierd. You'd think if u weren't wearing panties you'd try to make sure u don't accidently flash yorself....Well now she's gonna pay for being a stupid skank. Let's all laugh at her wierd labia!!!!!

7:06 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

Aaaand... there goes my breakfast.

7:52 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

Oh, and I always assumed "Firecrotch" stood for the sensation of your genitals being on fire which is commonly linked with having a multitude of venereal diseases.

Kudos to Paris and Brandon for that clever little double entendre!

7:56 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

Brandon and Paris clever? Not in my lifetime.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ugliest vag ever. it looks more like a ballsack. yuck.

8:41 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

easy, I guess the comment format doesn't sell the sarcasm as well as I'd like.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

I was feigning being aghast. I knew what you meant, Saltress. ;)

9:07 AM  
Blogger Pop Culture said...

Stanky Putanky! Woo-hoo!

9:15 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

Whew! I'd rather be accused of like, child molestation than seriously insinuating that Paris and Brandon are clever.

Ahhhh! Everytime I come back the firecrotch slaps me in the face! Why God why?!?

9:21 AM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

My pussy is waaaaay better looking than that "stanky putanky".

10:06 AM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

Ewww! One side is bigger than the other!!

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

I wish I had more hands, cuz I give that pussy four thumbs down....................

10:43 AM  
Blogger pinky_nip said...

Last time I saw lips that big, they were attached to a black man's face.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Hey!!! Give me back my catcher's mitt, I want to throw a baseball around!

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Stallion said...

LOL at Pinky..........

That's the shit I missed so much......

Wish I would have thought of that......

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I want to sprinkle some salt on that snail and watch it wither and die...

12:19 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Lick.. Slurp... Lick.. Slurp...

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

News Flash: These pics are FAKE. Yeah, I know. Sorry to bring the bad news...

12:55 PM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

For serious??? Oh, boo! And just when I thought of another joke, that her privates look like cat balls.

1:12 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Lost Pussy: red-spotted, front declawed, neutered.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

How do you know it's fake, Dragulf? Gimme the source...

1:30 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Now all we need is a bagel and some cream cheese and we have ourselves a meal.

Dragulf: a.k.a Jimmy Olsen
Real or Fake we all know she's sporting some serious stank 'Salmon Flaps'.

ninj

1:35 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:42 PM  
Anonymous jesus said...

I want to see the sloppy open mouth kiss between cheeks and zanna. Then I'll jerk off in your open mouth.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Source is from the bottom of the page. Shows pre and post photoshooped pics. Sorry all.

http://forum.exp0sed.com/showthread.php?t=403&page=9

2:44 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

I'm sorry, but I don't need to hear about the sloppy, open-mouthed kiss *right* under that particular close-up pic. It's just... *shudder*... it ain't right.

Unrelated, I can hardly sit down today either. What I get for teasing mercilessly, I guess. I totally had it coming...And I plan on doing it again as soon as I can.

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Shankyouverymuch said...

Fish taco anyone!?!?!

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Shankyouverymuch said...

I should also write that Miss Hohan has quite a MOOSE knuckle there... I bet it would feel nice and tight wrapped around my
man-meat-schlongy

9:34 PM  
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8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com,
an online social networking community that connects
people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend
events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards,
listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a
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See you around! Bring all your friends too!

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9:10 AM  

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