SPANK CHEEKS

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

SPANK IT YOURSELF 9.06.06


Mischa Barton's shorts reveal some massive dimpling. (Hollywood Rag)

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson were never a couple. (WWTDD)

Paris' CD gets hacked; the fakes are going for $400 on eBay. That's $399 more than the average person would pay for the real one. (Egotastic)

Julia Roberts smells like balls. (Page Six)

I told you guys that Christina Aguilera was a tranny! She's on this month's cover of "The Advocate," a magazine targeted towards gays and lesbians. They're probably doing a feature on "Drag Queens." (Faded Youth)

E! decided not to broadcast the pre-Emmy show in "high def" because of Teri Hatcher's digusting forehead veins. (RadarOnline)

Gwen Stefani is now a dress-up doll. Dress-up, not blow-up, perverts. (Perez Hilton)

26 Comments:

Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

WTF?! Fuck you pole smokers! And not in the good way! Where the fuck were all you maggots yesterday?! You left Ninj and I all on our own!

Whatever, you missed out on a sweet fuckfest--anal fucking, grumpkins and Ninj even licked my pussy until his tounge went numb!

Yeah, that'll learn you all...see if you miss another day here..

1:44 PM  
Anonymous jesus said...

You can add my name to the list for the day's festivities. It's J-E-S-U-S. I'm sure you'll be saying the name over and over again, if you get my drift.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous jesus said...

If there is already a wait, I'll just go ahead and reserve "anal fucking."

Thanks,
Jesus

1:56 PM  
Anonymous jesus said...

If there is already a wait, I'll just go ahead and reserve "anal fucking."

Thanks,
Jesus

1:56 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

There's something very odd about a girl whose hipbones are jutting out, yet still manages to have cellulite. Hmm. I think I will ponder this perplexing question for a while. And cackle with glee.

1:57 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

Julia smells like balls? Too bad. I smell like filet mignon. The men dogpile on me. Bottle THAT, Estee Lauder!

2:01 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:01 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Beav.

I'm feeling all jelly legged today. The feeling is back in my tongue. Call me.

_______________________
As for miss-not-so-hot-pants Barton, now I have a reason to massage her thighs for like 7000 hours.
______________________

ninj

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No amount of massaging is going to cure cellulite, ever.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous dr.rokter said...

What is termed "cellulite" is actually a dimpling effect of fat caused by the way fat cells lie in or between connective tissue in the body, primarily in the hips-thighs-buttocks region. Connective tissue extends from the skin to the muscle below. Fat cells, especially when they get bigger, "push up" against the tissue to create the dimpling.
As women gain weight, the fat cells swell while the connective tissue stays the same, thereby causing that dimpling effect

2:13 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Jesus--Interesting....I called out your name last night while Ninj was fucking me. Went something like...

Oh Jesus, fuck me!
Harder! Harder! Oh Jesus!
Oh Jesus, I'm gonna cum!

2:28 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Beav.

No kidding, and after about 8 hours of your screaming I truly believed that I could turn water into wine! But instead, I blew a load big enough to feed a rather large Israeli kibbutz.

ninj

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this blog is nothing but perverts with no class! and you're not funny with your fake superficial blog. keep trying!

3:27 PM  
Anonymous morning glory said...

Wow, Dragulf, what kind of horny sex finder sites do you visit during your typical work day?

***************************************

Everybody, the page Dragulf directed you to is NSFW. There are balls and cocks and women masturbating. And I thought the panties look more photoshopped than her vagina.

***************************************

3:32 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Anon: I only come here for the dicksuck!

ninj

4:19 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Anon--Only an overweight virgin would say that.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Anon- I love this site with all it's "perverts with no class"...

and I'm proud to be one!

5:44 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Morning Glory;

Balls and Cocks and Women Masturbating, Oh My'

5:58 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

mmmmm... overweight virgins.

6:01 PM  
Anonymous dr.rokter said...

Are properties from a context-constrained class inherited by subclasses?

Suppose that I have this class heirarchy: River| Flueve | Blah Suppose that the property, emptiesInto, has a domain of River: owl ObjectProperty dfID" emptiesInto fs:domain rf:resource "River" fs:range rf:resourc"BodyOfWater owl: ObjectProperty Suppose the Flueve constrains emptiesInto to have a range of #Sea: owl Class ID"Flueve" :subClassOf rf:resource"River" rd :subClassOfowl:Restriction owlonProperty rf:resource emptiesInto"owl:allValuesFrom f:resource="#Sea" /Restriction /rfs:subClassOfowl: Class Question: what is the range of emptiesInto when used in the Blah Class? /Roge Maybe this is a complex way of looking at it, but the range of emptiesInto is BodyOfWater. Ranges are global, the fact that Flueve resticts the values allowed for instances of emptiesInto which have instances of Flueve as their subject does not, in my mind, change the range of emptiesInto. The 'effective range' of emptiesInto for Flueve could be said to be Sea, even without knowing what the actual range is, and similarly for Blah.

Therefore, welcome to La Pocatiere my favorite place, where the mountain haunts my dreams and the fleuve courses through my veins.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous My Well Rehearsed Mistake said...

Yeah dr. Something like that. As I said over on Superfish, welcome back. You caught a slight case of insanity while you were away? Or maybe you spent too long looking at those Suri Cruise photos?

It's a sign. The end of the world is fuckin nigh.

6:54 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Doc: Definitely can't accuse you of being a pervert. At least I don't think so.

And as far as class goes, I'm sure you have tons of that, like... what 700 credit hours worth?

I think you melted my brain a little.

Would you like a twizzler? They're yummy.


ninj

7:19 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

Ana and Wally,
Did we have fun last night? All I know is it hurts to sit down today. I love you perverts!

7:21 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

tatas- Yeah, my knees are shredded and my left pinky hurts????


ninj, got any of them twizzlers in pussy flavor?
Preferably 'twizzlrgirl' tasting!

8:18 PM  
Anonymous timmy timkins said...

Nipples?

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Morning Glory, I don't know what you are on but Walrus and the CN want some!

http://forum.exp0sed.com/showthread.php?t=403&page=9 is a celeb picture and video forum. If ya can't get in, it's your loss.

9:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home