SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, September 08, 2006

SPANK IT YOURSELF 9.08.06


All John Travolta needs now is a vagina and his transformation is complete. (Hollywood Rag)

Jessica gives her publicist the heave-ho after the John Mayer debacle. (Pop Sugar)

Kristin Cavallari is one desperate ho. (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey has stubby little T-Rex arms. (City Rag)

Britney Spears checked into St. John's Medical Center yesterday for a scheduled c-section; "Jailynn" should be arriving some time today. (Perez Hilton)

Ellen Degeneres is this year's Oscar host. (OMG! WTF?)

106 Comments:

Blogger sonya said...

Maybe Matthew's hiding the long arm somewhere else.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Ellen Degeneres is a clitty licker you know?

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Everybody knows that, silly Wumboot. Her g/f is Portia DeRossi.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Britney's kid is such a fat bastard. It should be put on the Nicole Richie diet STAT.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous morning glory said...

Did you check out the link? He really DOES have stump arms! I never noticed that b4!

3:10 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Thinking on Ellen Degeneres...

As much as I love pussy, if I was a woman, I'd be a lesbian too!!!

Hi Zanna!

Hi Beaverhouse!


Speaking of lesbians!
I think ninja of the cock is a Benedict Arnold
He's all over that Matthew McConaughey thread at the Fish.

True, he is giving some poor McConaughey supporter the business, but still, his home is here!!!

3:13 PM  
Anonymous ronnie said...

Tired of trolls.

ronnie

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Really? I was wondering where he went...go give him some shit!

5:19 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Jesus Christ Kelly Preston got F-A-T!!

5:47 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Hey Ninj, tell that silver fox if he ever wants a break from his wife to come see me ;)

5:58 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Why would you name your child something that starts with "jail." Jailynn/in jail. How stupid and country can one person be??

Poor kids -- she's just fattening up SP to eat him after she dips him in cheetoh crumbs.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Ew, fuck, nm Ninj!

That guy obviously molested Sarah Jean, which is why she now molests her dog.

I read the ordeal at SuperFish. I must say, some people may have lost respect for you for making such fun of another person. I am not one of those people. I thought it was fucking hilarious.

As for Sarah Jean, that is one FUGLY looking dyke! YUCK!

6:12 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

She started it. Did you read comment #15.

She also came after me about 2 months ago at the Fish when I was talking about how my uncle Rob used to make me suck his dick. She said I was offending her. You can imagine how that went down.

Beav. Did you get to see the wedding pics before she shut her site down?

ninj.

p.s What the fuck does respect mean? I'm offended by that word.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

ninj, you're a mean, mean person.
All poor Sarah Jean was trying to do was get her blog out for the people to read.
You and your friend jrzmommy berated that fragile little twenty year old until she was crying on her Grandpa Munster looking husbands shoulder.

You should be applauded and commended for the deed you did.


P.S. Thanks for the asterisk-less* post.
I would have been therebut, my computer is still down.

g'joob

6:53 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Ninj--

Yeah #15 was retarded, since obviously thats what gossip blogs DO.

I find her fucking her dog more offensive than you sucking off your Uncle, but thats just me, I'm open minded and non judgmental like that.

No I didn't get to see em :( I only saw the front page of her blog from the cached version.

I'm not sure what respect means. All I know is Aretha "Milk My Utters" Franklin sings about it. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

6:58 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

Respect? Hmmm.... respect the pussy?

7:02 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

P.S.

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"





hehe

7:03 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Ninj -- I read the comments on the fish and i was laughing so hard i was crying. Hilarious...you guys really went off on her.

I saw the cached version -- brilliant. What a great cap to my Friday.

Cheers, my friends. Hope everyone has an orgasmic weekend.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Sadly she has removed all but her pussy licker named Skippy blogs. I tell ya, for a x-tian she sure does cuss and HATE and complain a lot. Sounds like all the religious whacko's I know. She can dish it out but she sure can't take it. Maybe Edna is her aunt? I didn't get to see the pictures.

10:25 PM  
Anonymous My Well Rehearsed Mistake said...

Oh ninj, that was just too fuckin' funny. I've never laughed so hard. Did you see the spoof blog that Angry Ferret made about her? Too fuckin' funny. That bitch deserved every second of the new asshole ripping session. She knows what the Superfish is like.

I can't wait to see the pics of New baby Just-Jail-in, cos you -know Brit's gonna have to whore her kiddies out to the media, how else is she gonna make back the money K-fuck's been spending.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All that effort over a post, huh? Wow. The orange jumpsuit can't be far behind.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Oh fuck--Ninj sorry,

geneviever1980@yahoo.com

I set it up as a second email so my actual email won't get flooded by trolls--if you email me there I will give you my actual address I check daily...

Beav.

11:07 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Beav.

I e-mailed you. He he

To prove it was the real me.

The code word is Caprice.

*********************
Anon: Is that you Sarah Jean?
I have a new photo of your dad.
************************

ninj

12:05 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Lucky for you bastards I happen to be a law student…

Re: Flaming, Internet Slander, Libel

The Legal definition of Libel is: “The publication of a false statement, which injures one's business or personal reputation.”

If you plan on suing for Libel you need to be able to prove its definition and be able to prove some type of real resulting damage, i.e., not getting hired for a job position because your potential boss sees this ‘information’ about you; affected your reputation among your community members; threatened your finances; etc…You cannot just say “I’m getting bullied on the internet and it hurts my feelings.”

You cannot be sued for Libel if what you are saying is the truth, i.e., reposting information that has been made public such as from a Blogger’s website. If it is factual it cannot be proved false. Nor can you be sued for Libel if you are expressing your opinion, i.e., “Her Father looks like the Wizard of Oz” is an opinion and, obviously, not a fact.

As for celebrities: Thanks to the 1st Amendment you are allowed to report on celebrities as long as it is not purposefully malicious, i.e., reporting on Lindsey Lohan’s “fire crotch” (true or not) is not malicious, as it has been made public knowledge (if anyone were to be sued for Libel it would be that Brandon guy who first labeled her that.)
…So in other words, be smart, but also don’t get your panties all in a bunch.

xx A. Beaver, Esq.

4:42 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Beav.

Now I know I'm in love with you.

ninj.

4:59 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

By the way, the picture to the right is The Wizard of Oz. It is not my opinion.

Also: A friend of mine is a lawyer and I talked to him, and he said all they would say to the Bastards (I mean Ballards) is to make their shit private so no one can access it. That's about it.

However, I have a bunch of her pics so, MUHUHAHA, expect to see them posted on occassion.



ninj

aside 1. See Spanks. We have a lawyer here with us. So we'll be fine.

aside 2. A lawyer with an incredible Beaver, now if that don't beat all.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

that's libel, etc, beav..what about harassment, etc? You know that there is always a loophole for which someone can come in and snag you. I know because I have to constantly think of that when I'm writing for work.

5:29 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

God Damn it Zanna Fuck you! (Please don't sue me) I was just about to go get drunk, but ok...

Internet harassment works kinda the same way. You have to be able to prove that you are in fear for your safety, your families safety, it is causing you distress, etc. Again, not just saying "you are afraid and distressed," but real solid proof, and being that it is online its often harder to prove since there can often be no real fear of your safety since your harasser most likely doesn't know where you live, etc...

Legally speaking, Ninj's actions would be more likely labeled a "nuisance," preventing Sarah's enjoyment of the online community. Which pretty much means dick.

Although, (and thanks Zanna for bringing my attention to it) I would advise Ninj, as his Attorney, to not make direct contact (such as emails) with Sarah or any of her family/friends again. Just as a precaution.

Now piss off cos I'm going out to get pissed...

xoxoxo A Beav

5:49 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

One more thing and then I'm off...

The bottom line:

Its really very hard for the average person to sucessfully sue another average person (not talking about corporations, etc.) over internet harassment, slander, etc., for several reasons:

You need solid proof, just like any "real world" harassment/slander case, you need to find an attorney who will actually take on a stupid case like that (and I can gurantee you, your hometown attorney will not, since its not worth his time), if you do find an attorney its likely it'll cost you more for his services than you will actually see in your settlement.

If it were that simple to sue every person who takes the piss out of you online we would not have flammers (no, not fags, I mean internet flammers) or trolls.

ok, nighty night.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Okay..now we can both get drunk in peace. And I'd also like to put you on retainer.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

AB- you're my new hero!

I'm a lawyer too per se...
a prison lawyer.
I advised MY client, re: cock-ninja, to plead insanity and throw himself at the mercy of the court.
If that doesn't work, offer to fuck the judge in the ass (only if he's a male).

P.S. You know Mama Ballard went to church and prayed for forgiveness after having to type "Cock-Ninja" in her e-mail to Spanks.
She probably bleached her keyboard too!

7:23 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Wow, all o dis law man talk make my bagina itch. Anyone have some steel wool and a hammer drill?

7:56 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

Sorry to be such a commie square, Ninja, but I got a second, less-friendly email from somebody's lawyer, and I'm not interested in being sued in small claims court, unless we can go before Judge Mathis. So I had to ax your comments with the avatars of that girl's family.

So, sorry, man. I guess the fish will always be cooler than me.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Wally--Offering to fuck someone always works for me...how do you think I passed my LSATs?

8:54 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Spanks—Good move, it’s just not worth the drama.

However, I call BULLSHIT to that so called “attorney” email for the following reasons…

You cannot sue for libel or slander in small claims court.

You do not need a lawyer for small claims court and most lawyers won’t accompany you because it is a waste of their time.

Sometimes claims don’t even make it to court because they are so absurd, such is this one.

The maximum allowance to sue in small claims court in the state of Maine is $4,500; you can only sue for money owed to you not extra “damages incurred.”

In other words, suing in small claims court over a picture on a website is BULLSHIT!

This “attorney” using false, empty threats as a scare tactic. We do this all the time at my job.

8:55 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

No one is cooler than you, spanks...it's the commie lawyers that aren't cool.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Twzz--I love you. And your pussy. But I take offense to that! I plan on changing the world with my law career. Like putting the innocent in jail and letting the criminals like us walk free.

P.S. NY sucks on a Saturday night. Get the fuck out of my neighborhood you fucking Koreans, I was here first! Not everything is a photo opportunity you mother fuckers!

9:11 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Oh, Beav -- i would never, ever want to offend you or your pussy -- since I love them both.

Hugs and big wet kisses,
Twizz.

p.s. is everyone having as bad an evening as me?? I'm bored out of my mind. May I suggest a roadtrip? There must be some trouble we could all be getting into...

9:30 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

I hope precious Sarah Jean and her backwards ass country fuck of a family are having a lousy weekend.
They had better have whupped her ass raw for even being on the Fish.

I got berated as 'ImSucidial' on "July 24, 2006" under the "Lindsay Lohan Gets Hacked By Paris Hilton" thread, starting with post #28
I wasn't ignorant enough to put my whole life story in a link either.

'Danielle' took a worser beating than I did on "August 25, 2006" under the "Kevin Federline and His Personalized Ferrari" thread.
Did she go crying to her mommy for help because of the big bad "fellow"?
No!
She took it on the chin, said some complimentary things about her adversaries and went on with her life. She's still posting today.

Spanks, you did what you had to do and I applaud that.
I know I/we should just let this die... but then I/we would ALL be "commie squares".


P.S. There is NO ONE cooler than you.

9:36 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

You know what is bullshit? "cock"-ninja airing his dirty laundry on a GREAT site that has NOTHING to do with shit he started on another site.

You are a pathetic douche-bag CN.

Take your shit elsewhere and go fuck yourself. This isn't group therapy, and no one really gives a fuck about you one way or the other. If you can keep amusing us with your comments, do so, but remember, that despite all the psuedo legal "advice" you are getting:

A it is psuedo legal
B no one posting will ever pay your lawyer fees
C A-Beaver is semi-correct, those people have NO case.
D In, like 5 seconds, we will all be bored.

Have a nice evening.

ps don't email people you insult, that is just plain stupid. Especially using your real email address. Fucking moron.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

twzzlr, AB- I got shotgun on the road trip! I'll bring a shotgun too!

AB- That's one fucked up looking beaver with the pancake on it's head in your avatar...
or are you watching the bunny this weekend??

9:42 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

OMG Wally! I thought you were suicidal, but wasn't sure. I was a participant in the "danielle" bashing on SuperFish as well. You can prolly figure out who I was since the screen names were similar. Actually, that cunt is one of the things that made me come here and give up on the Fish. Fuck the fish! That site isn't fit to lick my taint!

And Twzz--get your ass into Manhattan, we can go to all the touristy sites and 69 each other and really give those fucking Korens something to take a picture of!

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Tranny:

You...complete..me.

I want to blow you so BAD right now. Like the "you grab the back of my head and fuck my face" kind of blowjob.

9:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woot!!!!!!

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

trannygranny you suck .

10:02 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Beav -- i'm looking up plane flights right now, and i'm packing my suitcase. be there soon...

Walrus -- how the hell are ya? you want to take a plane with me to manhattan? you'd better pack quick.

Twizz.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Alright Twizz! I'll be waiting for you at Boots and Saddle on Christopher Street. I'll be easy to spot, since I'll prolly be the only broad in the joint...Yes thats right I'm a fag hag. And also a beard when I need some quick cash.

Wally if you are coming make sure you cork your ass up good...unless of course you are a pole smoker, then don't.

10:16 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Boots and Saddle -- got it. :) Wally and I are coming (and by "coming" I mean, for the moment, on our way. We'll all come again when we're together...

Twizz

10:19 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Boots and Saddle -- got it. Walrus and I are coming. And by "coming" I mean "on our way." We'll come again when we're all together....

Twizz

10:20 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

As usual, only the "anonymous" pussies dare speak. Talk louder, dog, or you won't get a biscuit.

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Tranny, you are my hero!

CN, I am sorry but I think ya went a bit too far this time.

Spankcheeks rocks!

11:41 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Sweet, sweet Sarah Jeans website is back up on the, "Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz Back Together" thread, post #15. Click her name.

TrannyGranny, you are a gay, faggot retard!

Dragulf, you're a pussy!

If either one of you was on the Fish at that time, you would have ripped her a new one too.

So, nanner nanner phoo phoo!!!!

Hopeless_Cock Ninja is MY hero!


P.S. Hi Zanna!
Love your "Camel Toe Cup".

10:50 AM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Tranny is not a gay fagggot retard. I don't fuck gay faggot retards. And I like Dragulf.

And yea, they would have ripped her...but they also know when to draw the line. That there is the difference Wumby. Also, it is about the fact that he brought something he started from ANOTHER site over here..dragging Spanks into it. That's not cool. Unintentional, I'm sure..but not cool. Give the girl some respect.

And thanks..I'm glad you liked the post...

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Sarah-Jean said...

You people are so mean. You don't know how much you've upset my family. Please let this, the Lords day, be a day of repent for all of you. God help you.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Walrus;

You are as mentally incapacitated as you are impotent. Go back and read my comment, before you even attempt to speak to me again.

And, Fake Sara J...........go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, you aren't fooling anyone.

Take this shit back to the Fish, where it originated, and leave SpankCheeks the fuck out of it.

1:24 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Hey, I am rarely the voice of reason, being too preoccupied with sex in most cases to care what the hell is going on...but...

When I first came to this site, everyone was friends and we had a great time beating up on celebrities who deserve it. If we don't want spankcheeks to end up just like the Fish (which is lame), we need to forget this Sarah Jean crap and go back to making fun of Lohan's ugly nether regions.

Do I make sense? Hot and wet for you all,
Twizz

1:31 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Dearest TrannyGranny,
I wasn't posting about your comment, I was making a calculated guess as to the way you lived your life style, only to be set straight by your hot & sexy betrothed.
All is forgiven I hope?

zanna baby, I love you.
Not in a sexual way per se, but more of a maternal / paternal sort of way.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Ah FUCK!!! Group hug everyone!

1:52 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

I may try and be the voice of reason, but i don't group hug unless we're all naked.

:)

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Tranny! Get yer hand of my butt! Ya corndog batter freak.

Walrus, I did rip into Sara Jean but just once. I felt that was enough. I have nothing against CN, he just went a bit overboard IMO.

Anyone think Lindsay's ass is a real full moon. IE it covers her front and the back. Weird. All ass and no poontang.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

I'm group hugging and
copping feels!!!

Thanks Tranny, I needed that.

2:10 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

If you have a problem with what I air. Then delete it. You have the right to do that. It's up to you.

I was including you people, what I thought was 'My Hub or my Home-base' in the festivities because I thought you might find it humorous.

It is important to me that throughout my day I make you guys laugh. (I know I will never meet any of you, etc. etc. blah blah.), but just to make you laugh or smile is and was my #1 intention, ... and respectively, to make no less than 20 people cry, each day on other sites.

Tranny: You were once a hero of mine.

Spanks: I'm gone baby, but I really did like you and your site a lot, and I will miss you, and I don't want to jeopardize your site or cause you to go to jail or anything.

Later All.

Cock-ninja, a.k.a. Dr.Rokter, Hopeless-Screenwriter, Hannoush (The Camel Fucking Arab), Bimbo The Monkey, Ronnie, Tom.

Walrus, Twizz, and Beav., not necessarily in that order. I will still post at the Fish from time to time, so I'll talk to ya there.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Dang, dragulf and I are 'time twins' !!!

2:12 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Dang, dragulf, ninj and I are 'time triplets' !!!

2:14 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

ninj, don't leave, your hurting MY feelings.

It'll all blow over in time.

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

oooo...did y'all feel that....

The earth is back on its axis. Get your Kumbayah-on people.

I'd like to dedicate the song attached to my name to all of you.....

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Zana said...

Wait a minute..I just posted that and now I find out everything is NOT all Kumbaya....

2:27 PM  
Anonymous zanna said...

God, now I'm all verklempt and didn't attach that shit to my name the last time.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

NINJ DON'T BE A FUCKING PUSSY I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT! DON'T GO ASSHOLE WE LOVE YOU!

Seriously Ninj, you are apart of our little community here (both sexual and nonsexual), don't you DARE leave! If you leave you are no better than Sarah Jean, you big cry baby!

3:36 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

And BTW,

Ninj is the reason I came here! I followed him over because I enjoyed his antics on the Fish as Hopeless. (Yes Ninj, I have been stalking you since then, under a different name muwahahahaha...anyway...)

Subsequently, I discovered Tranny and Zanna's site also thanks to Ninj!

If you fuckers make Ninj leave I WILL sue you all for distress! I will even fake a suicide attempt over it just so I have solid proof!!

NO BEAVER FOR YOU TONITE!

3:46 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

ana-
you stole my bunny!!
that's my "wallpaper" was also my avatar when i posted on a different site as FlapJackrabbit!

where'd you find it?

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Beavana:

Technically i don't think we can "make" him leave. He is leaving of his own free will.
Which means couldn't we sue him for like...abandonment or something?

3:57 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Buns--

A friend sent it to me in a email. Ninj informed me of this yesterday (that it was your wallpaper). Great pussy's think alike, eh?

I have loads more of this kind of crap that you'd love!

Ninj has my real email address, if you want get it from him and send me a email and I'll send you some more cutesy animal shit.

A. Beav

3:58 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

AB- Are you mocking me with that fake suicide line?
If so, I want to be compensated...

This place will not be, in any way, shape or form, the same without ninj.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Zanna--I'm not speaking to you right now.

I like what you've done with my name...

DAMN IT! Fucking ADD!

I forgot, I'm not talking to you!

3:59 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

No Wally I would never mock you. Fuck you, yes. Mock you, never!

4:01 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

small world!

looks like i missed a very interesting weekend.

4:02 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Beavana- I like that name, I just hope Zanna doesn't sue me for plagiarism.


I think I figured out who you are, Fish wise, you "AluetianFrozenGirl"

4:20 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Wally,

derka derka, wrong.

Strike one.

Try again...remember I said my name on Fish was similar to Ana Beaver, dealt with same subject.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Wumboots..what are you talking about you just said over in Moose Taint it's gonna all blow over...AND

did you see a TM or a R after Beavana? No..so of COURSE you can use it.

4:42 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Beavana®- zanna there is an ® by it now, does that mean it's mine?

AB- alaskanchicsickle is not it huh?

What about AmberDextrose??


zanna- By "it's gonna all blow over", I meant this shit with ninja... meaning, when it does, he'll be back
You remember our friend ninja, probably the 2nd funniest (or a close 1st)poster in the blogging world.

Who's 1st (according to me).....
The guy you're sleeping with.
Yeah that's right, I said it, TrannyGranny is the funniest blogger in the world.

And yes I'm kissing his ass...
through Zannas lips. Ha! Ha! Ha!

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.myspace.com/delectual

Sarah's Myspace.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Wumby....

I didn't make myself clear. Which is not unusual...what with the ADD and all...

But I meant all blow over to refer to your post that this site wouldn't be the same without CN. I figured it will be once it all blows over.

And yes, I must admit..I enjoy bowing to blogging royalty on a nightly basis! ;)

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Okay, not just nightly. Morningly and afternoonly too. And duskly and dawnly.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Zanna- To quote John Travolta when he was cool, "I'm so confused!"
Actually I finely understood what you meant, but double damn this ADD, I forgot what I meant!

Not to critique your fabulous writing style, but would it hurt to throw a comma (,,,,,,,,) in every once in a while? :)


P.S. My Zanna nicknames are cooler than Anastasia Beaverhausens are!

7:25 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

What the Fuck? I drive to fucking Wyoming to buy whiskey (they don't sell booze in Moose Taint County on Sundays) and I come back to find I FINALLY twisted Cock Ninja's nipples enough to make him storm off in a huff?

Dr. R.T. Hopeless Cock Bimbo, this is to you:

Grow a pair. After all the wonderful shit you gave me as Hannoush, I figured you of all people could deal with my apparently notorious sense of humor. I find you vastly entertaining with your comments, and I must admit I had no idea you were Dr. Roktor, one of my top 3 favorite posters of all times. That says a lot about your writing ability, to be able to change your style dramatically enough I never noticed that persona was you.

Don't leave. I mean, I grew lesions on the tip of my penis just reading your heart-rending paragragh *sticks tongue in cheek*

That is about as close to an apology as I can muster, that part of my brain is still undergoing renovation.

Plus, I have 2 of your email addresses and I know (for real) where you work, and I will add you to my list of people I send non-stop goat porn to (barbado slim is the other) if you stop posting.

p.s. Now that I know you are Dr. Roktor, have you re-considered letting me cut off your penis to DP Jessica Alba with? She's just beggin for it, last time we talked.

7:27 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Hey Cumboot--FUCK OFF!






hehe.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

And Tranny--that was mighty big of you.

And also, you are mighty big.

...or so I've "heard."

7:39 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Tranny -- you are my hero. That was awesome of you.

CN - come on back...we all love you, Tranny was great, and this place won't be the same without you.

O.k. -- so what is CN's email address. I'll hound him too, and offer him great oral sex, if he'll just come back. (I give great head by the way. I do this twizzling thing with my tongue .)

Twizz

7:49 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

OK, so after being out of the loop all weekend, I come back to this? I don't even know what to think, but I'm pretty sure a few drinks would help me sort it out. And possibly some Cliff's Notes. A few orgasms always help clear my mind too. (Or not, but who the hell cares?)

Are we all naked, sweaty and happy again yet?

7:52 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Twzz--email sent to you w address.

7:56 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

I knew all along Tranny was just 'joshin' cock-ninja.
I felt it in my boner!

twzzlr- I have ninj's e-mail.
You have to find it the same way I did...
Search through "the" archives sister!
I can atteset to that twizzling thing you do with your tongue!!!

8:02 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Beavana® you ignorant slut, or should I say 'AmberDextrose' you ignorant slut?
You were supposed to make twzzlr work for CN's e-mail.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Wally--I am not ignorant! But I am a slut.

She did work for it, wink wink.

And I'm not amber. honest.

8:09 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Hey, I did work for it -- but AB doesn't kiss and tell (am I right??).

Thanks, AB -- email sent. We'll get him back.

8:10 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

AB -- great minds...

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Wumboots:

I don't use commas when my mission is to slap some liptick on a pig and get it out the door. This ain't no grammar session.

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn it AB, I'll figure out who you are!!! (I'll get you my pretty...)

zansza baby- It's just hard (for me) to comprehend what you're musing about.
I want to be able to understand every word typed by your delicate fingers.

8:37 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

That above 'anonymous' was me!!!!!

8:38 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

Eat Cock. 100

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Tranny motherfucking Granny said...

yo, crackaniggakikewopfucktard

for the record

theincredibletrannygranny@yahoo.com

I posted it on the fish, I post it here.

Get with the program.

11:19 PM  
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