SPANK CHEEKS

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

TEARS OF A CLOWN


Jessica Simpson surprised fans by singing "With You" on the "CBS Early Show" yesterday, a song which was released during the peak of Nick and Jessica's reality show "Newlyweds" and features a music video in which the just-married couple cavort happily in their mansion.

The "Newlyweds" memory may have been too much for Jessica, because moments after she finished the song, she began sobbing on hairdresser/gay minion Ken Paves' shoulder. Everybody saw. So either she was overcome by a wave of song-induced nostalgia, or else she realized that the only reason anyone had even heard of the song in the first place is because of "Newlyweds" and not because anyone actually bought her album because she sucks.

P.S. Super-groovy duds, Jessica! No matter what anyone else says, the late 60's were the height of fashion.

Source

11 Comments:

Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

I'd cry too when I realized that my lipsyncing sister and boy band husband have BOTH had #1 hits on Billboard and I NEVER had.

6:56 AM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

Gay minion!! Snerk!!

7:51 AM  
Anonymous easy e said...

WTF did she do to her hair. She used to be so hot.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Italian Stallion said...

I'd be crying too if I didn't know what the price of bananas was in Japan. Seriously, that's what someone asked her, and she didn't know. What a DUMBASS!!!!!

I'd still hit it.............

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

I love that dress! I am going to make her wear it again when she comes by tonight then rip it off her.

12:13 PM  
Anonymous walrus gumboot said...

Is that her real face?

12:43 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

She wasn't singing to Nick. She was singing to her other friends that make her life complete and get her through those tough times.


ninj


P.s. Hamburglar wants that 5 bucks you owe him.

12:47 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Lastly,

Violet Beauregarde wants her fucking dress back!!!

1:03 PM  
Blogger litelysalted said...

ninj: LOL at the profile photos.

1:14 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Litely,

Thanks sweetie,

Now bend over.

ninj

What can I say, I'm always horny.

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She looks like she's wearing the same dress Sarah Silverman wore at the VMA's!

2:16 AM  

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