SPANK CHEEKS

Friday, September 01, 2006

A WHORED-OUT WIPE-OUT


Paris Hilton can't even fall down without looking like a whore. Nice boob-save.

You can see the looks of concern on everybody's faces: Civilians use this sidewalk! We musn't let her cooter touch the ground! God only knows how long it would have taken to get hazmat teams out there.


Source

73 Comments:

Blogger smellypiratehooker said...

first! first, first, first first first!

Wait, this isn't a race? JK.

I wish she would have landed on her face.

12:31 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Whenever I am carrying a saddle and walking in public and I see someone falling the first thing I do is go for the tits.

I mean... why not, what better time to cop a feel, there must be some good sumaritan law that protects you in these instances.

ninj

1:02 PM  
Blogger clitalicious said...

She probably tripped over her cunt lips hanging down over her thong.

BTW, love this blog.

1:03 PM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

Clitalicious, I love your name, and Cock-Ninja, I love your cock. I just love, people! I just love.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Senor Cheeseburger said...

I hate this site. It is identical to pretty much every other site you ahve listed under your links.

Do something different like showing celebrities asses and nipples and feet and weiners and buttholes and molars.

trust me.

1:07 PM  
Blogger clitalicious said...

Thanks! I love getting spanked.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see anonymous has a new face.

1:20 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Spanks: I've been in love ever since that time you gave me a push on the swings.

And all your enema advice.

And that trip to China.

And the time you let me eat your pussy ;)

ninj

1:21 PM  
Blogger biatcho said...

here, let me just get that for you... UUH, WHAMMY! I touched your boooooobies. But I can't seem to find them because you're nothing more than a surfboard.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

If she had hit face first it would have been a sidewalk soufle.

If ya throw her off the top of a building it's called death by cement poisoning.

Senor assface, really, we don't care if ya like Spank's blog. If you don't like it, fuck off.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Senor Cheeseburger said...

Ok, I get the sneaking suspicion that all these "commnents" are made one person.

In fact I know it's a fact. You are pathetic whoever own this blog.

sad, sad, sad.

1:29 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Dragulf: a.k.a Jimmy Olsen.

No tips today?

No "McConaughey Get's Corn-holed on the Beach?"

are you slacking?

ninj

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

CN, don't cry ya jealous baby. Waaah!

I found something. It's a celeb quote. Why don't you go play in traffic m8.

"It doesn't really sound like Jessica," the pop star said of herself on TRL. "I'm on some sort of shots and all kinds of stuff...I'm so sad...I sound like a donkey." - Jessica Simpson

1:35 PM  
Blogger biatcho said...

nobody's biting shitburger...move along.

1:35 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

I think there's some reason that Nicole Richie and Parasite are both having trouble walking these days. Must have something to do with the giant sunglasses they're always wearing. Yeah, I see that Paris isn't wearing them now, but maybe taking them OFF messed up her balance.

That, or being the black-hole of whoredom is screwing with gravity itself...

1:44 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Senor Cheesedick:

Try to show me a blog-site where the blog-master is as hot as Spankcheeks. Oh yeah, and she's smart too.

This is by far the most amazing and dynamic community of brilliant wittgensteins you will ever encounter.

So take your repulsive ass back to 'myspace' before I cock-chop you in the face and nock out the last of your fangled teef!

Pray that Tranny doesn't show up, pray!

ninj

1:46 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Apache:

First off. Is that a picture of you? Schwiiiiing!

Also: I think the more appropriate term is 'sun-goggles' <--Spanks quote.

*******************
Dragulf: Chill dude. I was just kiddin'. Man are we sensitive. And I'm not jealous, because you are 32 and fat. Nanny nanny boo boo :o(
*******************

redux: Apache, I just changed my screensaver ;)

ninj

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Spanks, don't forget to be at the stand tonight around 6:00ish. Thanks for helping out this weekend.

2:01 PM  
Blogger ApacheRose said...

Ninj--

Out of respect for a certain someone, that is not me. Fair facsimilie, but not me. My hair's a bit longer, and wavy, my cowboy hat's black (cuz I'm a baaad girl) and my boobs are real. Otherwise, not far off at all. :)

Anyway, if it WAS (were? c'mon English nazis!) me, I'd be wearing my RED thong and holding a whip...

2:09 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

*Changes Screensaver back to Spankcheeks*

2:20 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

WHERE do these trolls come from???

if we don't feed it, it will go away and bother somebody else.
'cheeks, i second what ninj said about you.

btw, that pic is priceless. i know every time i fall down, somebody grabs my boob to steady me.

you know, because i have fabulous.....

2:22 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Shitburger, you bear a striking resemblance to the local crazy-ass bum who lives below the stairwell behind my office, who enlivens the scenery by chronically masturbating, hacking giant loogies at the pigeons, and mumbling about the time you almost had a bath.

Wait a minute?

Do you wireless in that cardboard box of yours?

Wow.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't this an old..I mean like a very old photo?

2:38 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

What I don't understand is wy she needs to bring a whole entourage to go pick up her Valtrex refill. Sheesh, celebrities!

3:06 PM  
Blogger Pop Culture said...

Such a close call, but I was dying to play, "Is That Paris Hilton's Boob, Ass, or Stanky Putanky?"

Oh well, maybe next time she falls we can play.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Jizzburger--the only thing sad on this thread is your diction...

"are made one person."

"whoever own this blog."

Who are you, Tonto, or Tarzan?

Me think you not smart.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous petemclochness said...

Take a gander at the look on the guy's face who's catching her by her boob...the way he's biting his lower lip I'd swear he has his other hand down his pants.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

I think Fuckburger is actually Britney Spears, as both seem to be fond of the air quotes "". And using them inncorrectly, i.e. "commnents."

Oh look at that he spelled comments wrong. Well, in his defense it is a hard word to spell and its not as though its spelled out right above us twice or anything. *rolls eyes*

5:15 PM  
Anonymous tp21 said...

Spelling is hard, like reading, so I'm against it.

5:40 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Tranny: If you get this message. I can't post on your web-site. It won't let me. What's the deal? Google seems to have it fucked up I think. What do I do?

ninj

5:57 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

I think I smell a banana. A lame one at that.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

Ninj...I had upgraded it to a newer version of blogger...what does it say when you go to post? Maybe I need to go check the settings....let me know.

6:58 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

sonya,
me thinks you be right.

7:36 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Senor whoever says that all the comments are made by one person -- I am now having an identity crisis, since I must be blogging as Ninja and Ladyjane when I am subconscious....wow. I'm having a sybil moment here.

And, by the way, we need a way to punish these trolls...but don't suggest something sexual, please. I only have orgies with people I like. Any suggestions?

9:44 PM  
Anonymous morning glory said...

anal electrocution?

10:04 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Twzz, a suggestion on how to control this troll infestation....

Us ladies distract the troll with the sight and scent of our sweet beavers, maybe even flick our beans a little or perform a little cunnilingus (I mean we may as well enjoy ourselves, right?)

Then, Ninj sneeks up behind them and uses his erect penis to attack their pressure points leaving them paralyzed.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Hey cock-ninja- Your profile picture is of a "pussy-ninja".

What gives???

Transvestiteism?

Couldn't find a photo of an ass kicking rooster?

You're a "troll" and have the real cock-ninja stuffed in a blue barrel with air holes strategically placed so you can poke him with a cattle prod in the genital area?

11:05 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

ana (may i call you ana? A.B. is so formal. and so much harder to type)-
again, you hit it on the head (pun intended).

is anybody having a good long weekend yet?

11:06 PM  
Blogger fase said...

Whoa !!!. Can you image how the guy that caught here felt.

11:47 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

A.B. -- sounds like a good plan to me. Does Cock Ninja then, after punishing the troll, get to have his way with all of us ladies???

Evil Bunny -- my long weekend sucks so far. Hope things get better....news from anyone else?

8:31 AM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

I get to take care of Evil Bunny for the week-end.


Twizz: Whatever I can do to add to your loooooooong week-end would be my pleasure.

ninj

11:10 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Hey all. I'm at my mother in laws house this weekend for covert operations involving special agent assignments i.e. trips to condos in Florida and dogs that need to be let outside and fed, SO... here I am. Sweetcheeks I am so proud of your site. It looks like a million pesos and I really mean that. And I had no idea your favorite movie was Yentil. I'm sorry I took you to see the Passion after our lovely dinner date at the Piccadilly. I hope all is forgiven.
Oh, and Paris Hilton fell. What a slut.

11:23 AM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

oshkoshb-goshdabyalbhabetwisconsinamillionfuckinglettersmyheadishurtin-

So in essence, your house sitting for you mom-in-law


ninja.. ninja.. ninja- you change your profile picture more than I change underwear, and I don't even wear any!!


♪♪ Yeah I'm free,

free ballin, ♪♪


Little bit of Tom Petty to jump start the weekend.

12:10 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Now that Oshie's here, my life somehow feels complete.

Well, I'm off to flick my bean a bit....

12:23 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Buns, call me whatever you like.

Twzz, I certainly hope Ninj has his way with us (that's the whole point)

hmmm.....I'm bored. Guess I'll start drinking.

12:44 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

I'm bored, too. Don't know where you guys are, but it's pouring rain here in Ohio. Yuck. I need a vacation -- who's with me???

3:44 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

VACATION! VACATION!
I'M...
oh. crap.
its looking a bit icky here, too. hubby finally gets a long weekend, and the weather's not poolish. i'll bet it's worse over at sonya's.

i vote for jamaica, twizz. red stripe and ganja, WHOOPEE!

3:55 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

Yes buns it is just this side of hell-hot here. We are all (both dogs too) camped inside with the curtains drawn and sitting in front of the air conditioner.

4:05 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

I wish we needed the air conditioner...it's rainy and cold. Jamaica it is...we'll all meet at the airport. Someone tell ninj to come (cum) too.

4:38 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

I'd love to, but I'm bunny-sitting this week-end.

ninj

5:00 PM  
Blogger cock-ninja said...

Buns,

Your bunny sure does like peanut-butter ;)

Kinda reminds me of Bimbo, only fluffier and ...



ninj

5:10 PM  
Anonymous anonymousownsyou said...

Boy this shit is boring...not the comments, the blog contents...does the 'expert' blogger even try?! God....put some racist shit in here, at least something to talk about like usual...

7:02 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

anonymousownsyou must suffer from small dick syndrome.

Poor fella.

7:12 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Ninj, bring the bunny and come on...

anonymousownsyou -- if you don't like this site, why do you come here?? You secretly love us all...I know.

7:57 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

I've been wanting to go to Jamaica for awhile, can I come too Buns?
I'll bring the party games.

8:08 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

I think I can speak for Evil Bunny (and myself) when I say that as long as the games are sex games, you're welcome to come along chillytatas.

8:19 PM  
Anonymous anonymousownsyou said...

Consider it an experiment...trying to find out what people think is so good about this blog...I mean there are only a few really, but still, it is a lame ass site with old or other peoples content and not-to-witty comments... just trying to understand why this thing exists I guess.

8:49 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

just remember where that bunny comes from, guys!
sonja, you're lucky... maybe not. it got cloudy and humid, and the wind was blowing from your direction.

i wouldn't go anywhere w/o the eskimo pie. twiz, honey, you're in.

let me just put on a little jimmy buffett...

oh. you guys CAN spring me from the ninj's evil clutches, eh?

9:04 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Anonymous, I've said it before and I'll say it again:

We aren't racist here. We love everyone, niggers, jews, spics, sand niggers, guineas, micks, fags, dykes, etc., etc...

As for what I think is so good about this blog; I come here for the friendships, the fine pussy, and of course the ninj's cock.

9:12 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

"not to witty comments???" I think we are not only witty, but extremely sexy and hot. Some people are just jealous.

By the way, I love happy bunny, as well as evil bunny. And to you, anonymous -- to quote happy bunny -- you can talk to us, but where will we put the barf?

God it must be getting late...

9:13 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

I come here for the free blow jobs and shrimp cocktail.
Both are equally excellent.

AB- Is that a North American anastasia beaver in your bio picture??

I want to go/cum to Jamaica mon too.
I'll ride in coach!


I'll bring the Beach Boys.

♪♪ Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why dont we go
Jamaica ♪♪

9:29 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

Wally Boots--yes. East coast beaver. Closely shaven and moisturized with baby oil.

Fuck I'm wasted. No more Stella Artois for Ms. Beav....

9:41 PM  
Blogger chillytatas said...

I'm packing my handcuffs, naughty dice and erotic edibles, oh oh and we can play hide the banana, fun for both boys and girls!
There be some good ganja in Jamaica, prepare to be knocked on your asses.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

mmm....fuck me! I wish I were in Jamaica now!!

Last time I bought some appleton white and sea wynde for dirt cheap from some rastas and smuggled it back....god damn that was some tasty shit.

10:45 PM  
Blogger twzzlrgirl said...

Chillytatas -- I have a purse with handcuffs for the strap. I'll bring it along. It's nice, 'cause then I'm always prepared.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

has ANYBODY'S weekend shaped up, yet?

pie, twizz, ana, your highness (you know who you are), lady, and oshie, you too.

i declare girls' nite out. i expect you all here after sundown.
we got us some FABULOUS skinny-dipping weather... and the pool is warm. you boys are on your own. try not to hurt yourselves!
just gotta watch out for steve.

btw, ninj, thanks for "taking care of me". 'tis sweet of ya
(did i just really say that?)!

6:58 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

okay, 'cheeks, time to go to work!
what happened to steve irwin ( crocodile hunter)?

okay, reports are in, cryptic, but " he was swimming w/ stingrays and one stung him right thru the heart",
according to second hand reports from hubby.

damn, i liked that dude. oh, and it apparently killed him.

that sucks.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous My Well Rehearsed Mistake said...

So, it looks like I missed a fun weekend over at spanks, there are some reports that I partied too hard but thankfully I can't remember that much about it to know either way.

So you guys had an orgy (as usual) got trolled, Paris fell over and got her (non-existent but real) boobs out, Hohan wore another bikini, Steve Irwin pissed off a wild animal so bad it decided to kill him and you all went to Jamaica. Nice.

Oh and I'm comment number 69 so all is alright with the world...

6:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SPANKCHECKS......THAT PIC OF PARIS HILTON IS REALLY REALLY OLD!! U SUCK! GET THE LATEST PHOTOS OF CELEBS....NOT ONES LIKE 6 MONTHS OLD U LOSER >:(

7:49 AM  
Blogger spankcheeks said...

Hey, anonymous,

I DON'T CARE IF THE PIC IS SEVEN YEARS OLD! IF IT JUST STARTED FLOATING AROUND THE NET (I.E. THAT BRITNEY SPEARS VIDEO CLIP), I'M GOING TO POST IT! ESPECIALLY IF IT SHOWS PARIS HILTON:

1. FALLING DOWN

2. GETTING HURT

3. DIGGING AT HER CROTCH

4. GETTING STABBED IN THE THOAT WITH A PENLIGHT.

FUCK OFF! THERE ARE LOTS MORE GOSSIP FISH IN THE SEA! NOW GO DROWN YOURSELF IN SAID SEA.

AND QUIT WITH THE ALL CAPS!!

8:30 AM  
Anonymous My Well Rehearsed Mistake said...

anon - you really are very sad to come on here and all you do is criticise Spanks blog. Really, I think it's pathetic that you know that pic of Paris is 6 months old, who's sad now? How come you don't post the link to your own blog on here if you are so smart, sophisticated and up-to-date with news? Oh, yeah that's right your blog is probably the same size as your dick, and I seem to have misplaced my microscope. We don't need your trolling kind around here, thanks all the same.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Omar Cruz said...

this report is fantastic, the infomation you show us is really interesting and is good written. Do you want to see something more? Look: this is a good page, you can visit too:Great investment opportunity at Costa Rica Pacific Coast, Preconstruction condos in costa rica ,
Condo sales in costa rica, Retirement property in costa rica. Visit us for more info at: http://www.ramadajaco.com/

1:07 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home