Thursday, October 19, 2006


I'm no genius, and even I know that auctioning Paula Abdul off for charity is a bad idea. How the hell do you expect Paula Abdul to bring in money for a charity when this bitch is a charity case all by herself?

According to PR Inside FOX TV executives had a great idea…to do something for the multiple sclerosis society. Then they had a major brain cramp and fucked it up by thinking it would be a great idea to auction Paula Abdul on ebay with the proceeds going towards the charity.

For a mere $25 grand, you get to go fly to California, get a 2,000 shopping “spree” on Rodeo drive – which is a joke unto itself. 2K on Rodeo drive is not considered a spree. and then you get to go to a taping of American Idol and meet Paula Abdul. However, the auction received ZERO bids and they closed the auction in 4 days. Adding insult to injury, an ebay spokesman said:

"This sort of charity auction usually makes a mint. It’s kind of sad that nobodywanted to bid on Paula."
Operative word here? Usually. Look, here is the deal. Who the hell would spend that kind of money on THAT? Anyone who wants to spend their time with a drunk woman with a bad boob job and a purse full of percoset can go to any bar and there will be one there. Or you could call me. I’ll hook you up with my sister for a 25.00 “finders” fee.


Anonymous Walrus Gumboot said...

I put a bid in of $25001, but they found out that I actually stalked Ms Abdul for six months back in her "Cold Hearted Snake" period. They said they had to "re-consider" my bid. What ever that mean.

Footnote: The song "Blowing Kisses in the Wind", she wrote that for me.
She did, honest!

7:46 AM  
Blogger Zanna said... funny bastard!

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

Men want to date women before they go insane not after.

Sorry, that's all I have today.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Walrus Gumboot said...

This sentence "What ever that mean" that I put in the above post, looks like a third grader wrote it. Allow me to correct it.

"Whatever that means"

There, now it reads right and I feel better... much better.

9:42 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I might take a shit on Paula's face for $2.50. Then again, I might not.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

that would be redundant.

6:50 PM  
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8:25 PM  
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10:33 PM  
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8:47 PM  

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