SPANK CHEEKS

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

BEYONCE GETS SHITFACED



Miss Beyonce finally let her hair down and got smashed at Jay-Z's after aftershow party at the Mo*vida nightclub in London. According to Tonight:

After yet another glass of vintage Dom Perignon the singer - dressed in a figure-hugging emerald dress - had to be helped to her chauffer-driven car by minders, as she was too intoxicated to walk.An onlooker said: "Beyoncé is usually ultra composed, but at the party she was having a really fun time. She joined in the champagne toast. It was strange to see her make such a shaky exit."

Jay-Z - who wowed his fans at the Royal Albert Hall concert - was left unfazed by his fiancée's ungraceful departure and joked: "Beyoncé was like a green whirl on the dancefloor."
You'll notice that when BEYONCE gets so shitfaced and can't walk, she was having a "really fun time." When I get so shitfaced I can't walk, someone is in my face talking some shit about a 12-step program.

But fuck it, I can't say too much about this since I'm so drunk right NOW I won't remember posting this. But I'll tell you this much....usually....when I get THAT drunk, there are bigger and better holes in my nylons, and I'm in the back seat of a 1979 Camero with someone ELSE'S fiancée.

Don't judge me, man.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny, funny girl!

5:17 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

"Helped to her car by minders"?! WTF? If I was Gay Z, only I would have helped her to her car. From behind. With both hands holding her up by her tits and my penis...shall we say "balancing" her lower half.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Why is she covering up, WTF!!!

5:51 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

At first I thought that was that fat Carey chick again...lol

Bad camera angle, cause this one I would fucking marry!!!!!!!!!!

5:53 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Holy fuck, that looks just me, the time I drank a bottle of Malibu Rum, (Shut up, it was 1988) and fell into my friend's Christmas tree with my pants around my ankles. Only, I'm not black, I can't sing, I do NOT wear pantyhose or green sequined dresses and I've never seen the back seat of a limo.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Zanna said...

T- I expect you to want to help a girl whose body SO MUCH resembles my own... ; )

8:36 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

You can't really be embarrassed when you're fucking Beyonce. Even if she stood on the table and declared that she was going to kill all the Spaniards for speaking Mexican and then picked her nose and ate it while peeing in your salad, you'd still get high-fives from the waiters. As long as she keeps her eyes down and her pussy on lock like a good bitch.

11:32 AM  

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