SPANK CHEEKS

Sunday, October 08, 2006

DAVID HASSELHOFF STRUGGLES WITH SOBREALITY

I just made that up. That’s a hybrid of sobriety and reality. Sobreality.

Anyway…..

Earlier this month, The Hofff said Princess Diana wanted him. NOW it’s KITT his Knight Rider car. You’ll notice that his accusations are directed towards those who can't defend themselves. In other words, you don’t see him saying that anything LIVING wants him. According to: AZcentral:
"He was extremely tired because of his massive promotional tour which has been going on for three weeks now,'' a rep told the London Daily Mail. ''But he did everything we wanted him to do. His behavior might not have been "dead-on," but it was first thing in the morning. We do not believe he was drunk. There was no smell of alcohol."

But a source at another show, who asked to remain unnamed, said that when Hasselhoff showed up there, ``It was first thing in the morning and he sure smelled like booze to me -- either that, or he's using some pretty odd-scented aftershave."

In yet another interview, Hasselhoff confirmed what some fans of his series Knight Rider always suspected: that Kitt, the talking car, was, in fact, gay. And he had the hots for his driver.

"We have some fairly X-rated outtakes on Knight Rider," Hasselhoff told startled students at Trinity College in Dublin. 'Kitt was constantly asking: `Do you want me to take you home, Michael?' in that very camp voice of his."
Look, we’ve all said we’ve done something we shouldn't have when we were drunk. But I’m fairly certain (according to a survey I JUST took in my head), that 89.77775% of us would never have picked Princess Diana or KITT from Knight Rider. But then again, I just found a losing Keno ticket in my purse that has the number of the local Justice of the Peace on it and I don't even remember going out last night....so...you know...that "survey" might not be so accurate.

5 Comments:

Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

I got kicked off the Universal Pictures film lot 5 years ago because of KITT. Let's just say I was trying to rebuild it's catalytic converter thru it's tailpipe. With my penis. Who woulda thunk it was a screamer?

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Walrus Gumboot said...

It's NOT TrannyGranny;

Maybe, this is kind of far-fetched, but just maybe, "The Hoff" was one of those lucky fans at the Detroit Tigers (who trounced the "best lineup in baseball") game yesterday and got sprayed with some of that celebratory champagne.

Or maybe he's just a lying lush, who knows his career is over, and resorts to alcohol to cover his own inadequacies.


Either way, thanks Zanna-baby, for posting on a Sunday.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Tranny - I hope you got pictures. I'd like to use it for my Avitar!

Wallboot, I think you are right about the resorting to alchohol thing...cuz that's what I do. I mean, would do. Ahem.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

I mean really, who doesn't?

10:35 PM  
Blogger LadyJane said...

Truly, I am still staring at Scarlett and Dita below this thread.

That's hot.

11:09 PM  

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