SPANK CHEEKS

Sunday, October 01, 2006

GU GU IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU


So many times I read a story and can identify with it. Like this one about a drunk Chinese man who felt a sudden urge to hug a 6 year old sleeping panda named Gu-Gu. According to the Beijing Morning Post, this guy drank four pitchers of beer, jumped the enclosure and reached out to hug the panda. When all of a sudden.....

Startled, Gu Gu bit Zhang in the right leg. Zhang, a 35-year-old migrant laborer from central Henan province, got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.

"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."

Other tourists yelled for a zookeeper, who soon got the panda under control by spraying it with water, reports said. Zhang was hospitalized.

Newspaper photographs showed Zhang lying on a hospital bed with blood-soaked bandages and several seams of stitches running down his leg.

The Beijing Youth Daily quoted Zhang, a father of two who was visiting Beijing for the first time, as saying that he had seen pandas on television and "they seemed to get along well with people."

"No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang said. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much."
Yea. That’s like the time I drank 5 Scorpion bowls at Han Dynasty and broke into my ex-boyfriend’s house because I was in the mood for a “hug” and his girlfriend bit me in the leg after I kicked her. And I said pretty much the same thing Zhang said when I woke up in protective custody the next day. “I just wanted to touch it. I don’t remember much”.

Good times.

Read the full story from CNN here

5 Comments:

Blogger spankcheeks said...

That sounds like the night before my cousin's wedding. Only there was more crying. And a industrial sized bucket of anal lube.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

That is always the right thing to do. If an animal bites or scratches you, bite it back! My damn cats know not to bite me!

12:46 PM  
Blogger Anastasia Beaverhausen said...

I'd hit it.

2:08 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

I love how Asians are so composed and literal about everything. Like, this is probably how the rest of his day went: "I was feeling quite complacent from the beer I had imbibed, so I then made a quick jaunt to the local pornographic film theater where I was soon sound asleep in a semen coated bucket seat. Alas, I awoke with my pockets turned askew and my tiny cell phone, wallet full of platinum cards, and my Texas Instrument calculator had been absconded. I proceeded home, driving my Daihatsu into varying mailboxes and pedestrians although I was quite sober at this juncture, where my obese wife was waiting to bludgeon me with various cooking implements. It was very dishonorable."

3:16 PM  
Blogger Walrus Gumboot said...

Spanks / Zanna gettin' news from all over the world.

You go girl !!!

11:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home