SPANK CHEEKS

Sunday, October 29, 2006

JEN FLIES TO LONDON TO SERVICE VINCE

After realizing no one else wanted them, Jennnifer Aniston flew to London to service Vince Vaugn in a penthouse suite, where they dined on a carnivorous meal of steak and veal, accompanied by red wine. US reports:

After nearly 60 days apart, Jennifer Aniston has arrived to see Vince Vaughn. On the night of October 27, Us has learned that the actors shared the penthouse suite at a London hotel, where the pair ordered room service (steak, veal and red wine). It was the first time the on-off-on again couple had seen each other since their break up (a split that an Aniston friend later downgraded to a "break"). The next day, on Saturday, October 28, the couple took in a matinee performance of the musical Wicked, then returned to the hotel.

Aniston, who once decried reports of a romance with Vaughn as false on Oprah, returned to the show earlier this month to deny a split.
Can’t you just envision it? Vince, all bloated and drunk…laying on the bed, robe stained and open; he's eating his steak with his bare hands and its dripping all over him; his hair all crazy. Then he gets that drunken “seductive” look and says (while he hiccups OR belches)…”c’mere and give daddy some sugar” as he grabs his package and smirks at her. That’s usually when I think to myself, “I shaved my twat for THIS?” Then look to see if we have enough booze to set my beer goggles on stun, because I’ve just realized what a horrible mistake I’ve made and checkout 'aint till noon tomorrow.

Lemons into lemonade...

1 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

This one time in Cabo San Lucas Vince Vaughn seduced me poolside. He was laying in a lawn chair eating a corn dog with a dogeared copy of Hustler's Taboo in one hand and an empty bottle of Jameson's in the other. He asked me if I would rub some baby oil on his nipples as they were, in his words, "getting a little crusty". As I approached I could smell the mustard on his breath and his unwashed, oily hair waved ever so subtly in the breeze. I said "take me now, Vince" and he said "sure, babe, but do you mind manning the post? I got the worst gas right now and feel like I better keep laying right here or I might shit myself, if you know what I mean."

9:56 AM  

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