SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, October 19, 2006

MICHAEL DOUGLASS PISSES OFF WIFE

Although I’m pretty sure his career has signed a DNR, his alleged “PR Stunt” to revive his career has his wife tear-assed. Hollywood Rag reports:

Catherine Zeta-Jones is furious with her husband Michael Douglas, after he gushedabout his sexy co-stars.The 62-year-old actor revealed he had a "crush on Kim Basinger" andcomplimented Eva Longoria on her "fantastic butt" during a recent interview to promote his film 'The Sentinel'. Michael also proclaimed that "sex is like a wave that sweeps over me".

However, his 37-year-old Welsh actress wife was not amused by his commentsand immediately telephoned him to tell him exactly how she felt.A source revealed to Britain's Grazia magazine: "Catherine called him everyname under the sun. Michael was trying to explain it was just for publicity,and that he thought it was a good idea to rev up his image as a bad-boy."

Bad boy? A 62 year old bad boy? I don’t know about you but the only image I get when I hear this shit is a dirty old man. And that “wave that sweeps over him”? I’m betting that means he tends to doze off during masturbation. With a bottle of Jergen’s, a box of tissue and his semi-erect penis in his hand.

If I were Catherine Zeta Jones, thats what I'd be mad about. The flaccidness. Nothing makes a girl go from zero to bitch in record time than flaccid.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Dragulf said...

Viagra! Woot!

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Walrus Gumboot said...

I masturbate into a white tube sock, dry.
And Eve Longorias butt isn't that great. Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez (or JLo as the kids say) those are some foine (again, as the kids say) ass butts. Their butts are like Jessica Albas lips... big, soft and sexy and I wouldn't mind kissing either one of the three.

9:37 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Catherine, like me, keeps her men in check with emasculating threats and frequent bouts of fury. If my husband even looks at another woman, whether she's on TV, walking across the street, or on a cereal box. I saw him making eyes at that slutty Aunt Jemima the other day and I made him cry for three hours while he ate my pussy with a red handkercheif on his head *whipping sound*.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

My ex used to masturbate into his tube sox. i thought it was just him.

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Walrus Gumboot said...

Oh no Zanna, there are a whole slew of us out there.
When I was in the Marine Corps (stand up when you read that) we used to jerk-off into a green military sock.
(Yes, in private... No, not in the same sock)

2:41 PM  
Blogger Zanna said...

Wow. I feel bad for making fun of him now. But no..wait..no I don't. Because he'd always jack off in MY socks and then it would dry up and the toes would be crunchy. Bastard.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

I just read that as "Mike Doug Pisses ON wife" and it made me happy.

I like to sneak into my neighbors house while they are at work and jerk off onto their socks. And ski hats. And I use their pet chinchilla to rub it out. SO SOFT!!!

I nicknamed him "Lil' Sticky Buns"

4:20 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

wait a minute.
that's what ninj used to call me!

6:52 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

What's up bunny, you otay?

7:28 PM  
Anonymous evil bunny said...

doin' good, stallion, thanks for the asks.
(interesting sentence structure, hmm)

we'll be riding soon, m' dear, soon!!

11:45 PM  
Blogger sonya said...

Looked like Catherine picked herself a real weiner. I mean WINNER. WINNER.

12:04 AM  
Anonymous Dragulf said...

This is the last post on here I can read. Blogger.com is so dang fubar!

5:15 AM  

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