SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

PARIS HILTON PREFERS FOOD OVER SEX


Paris Hilton is still trying to convince us she’s just a “girl next door” (if you lived next to a brothel or a methadone clinic) According to PR inside:

Socialite PARIS HILTON insists her sultry image is all an act and that she would rather eat than have sex.

Although the STARS ARE BLIND singer became famous after a sex tape she filmed with former boyfriend RICK SOLOMON was released on the internet in 2003, she says she doesn't deserve her racy reputation.

She tells Seventeen magazine, "People shouldn't judge me and assume that's how I am. "I get in so many fights with guys who are like, 'In public, you are the sexiest sex symbol, but you're not sexual at all at home.' "I'm like, 'Whatever, shut up. I don't wanna be.' I'd rather watch a movie or LOST, or like, eat."
Ha! Can you imagine getting Paris home and she didn't put out? That's called a 'bait and switch" and it's illegal in most states.
All I know is if having herpes and flashing her cha-cha is an “act” then someone give this girl a friggin' Oscar because she's got me thoroughly convinced that she is a slut. However, I am confused by her choosing food over sex. Because after I saw that Carl Jr. commercial she did I thought it wasn’t either/or. I got the distinct impression it was both. Like in that episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza felt that adding food to is repertoire (sans the cured meats) would enhance his sex life.
Wow. I started with methodone clinics and ended with cured meats. It’s this very thought process that requires me to have my lifetime prescription to Ambien.


2 Comments:

Anonymous TrannyGranny said...

If you watch that video closely, you can see the paint peeling where she rubs her fester-hole on it.

11:39 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

What she means is she likes a hot man sandwich with extra beef and special sauce.

3:39 PM  

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