SPANK CHEEKS

Thursday, October 05, 2006

TRAVIS BARKER BREAKS ARM MASTURBATING

I don’t know if that’s true or not but since they aren’t saying HOW he broke it, that is my natural assumption. According to Dlisted:

The estranged husband of the hottest bitch on Earth, Shanna Moakler, broke his arm the same day his wife beat down his girlfriend, Paris Hilton. Travis has been ordered eight weeks of bed rest. The former drummer of Blink 182 apparently broke it while performing in Europe. It is unknown how he broke it and his reps aren't saying.

A rep issued this statement: "Per doctors orders Travis is to remain off his right arm for eight weeks."

Travis was shooting a video and was due to tour in the next few weeks, that looks likely to be cancelled.
EVERYONE knows men love when two women fight, because they are hoping that somehow it’s going to turn into some lesbionic fuck-fest of biblical proportions. So because I know this, I can confidently say that it is no coincidence that he broke his arm on the SAME day that his wife beat down Paris Hilton. We can safely assume that upon learning of said cat-fight, he broke his arm during a ferocious masturbation session, missed a stroke, and broke his arm off his forehead.

Elementary, my dear Watson. Elementary.

3 Comments:

Blogger ApacheRose said...

What the hell? Bed rest for a broken arm? Is he such a knuckle-dragger that he can't even walk around with out screwing up the healing?

That thought is only reinforced by the fact that he was told to stay "off" his arm.

Christ, what an idiot. No, not for breaking an arm, just because he IS.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

Did he have those African tribal ring's around his neck as a kid?
Just wondering..........

5:19 PM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Shanna Moakler is the hottest bitch ever? I guess I have to agree since it was in a Men's Magazine. What's that you say? It wasn't? Well, then... I recant and resume my previous opinion that she is slightly fat. Further affiant sayeth not!!!

10:45 AM  

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