SPANK CHEEKS

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

BEYONCE IS SORRY

Beyoncé is sorry, but the songs on her new album B’day is NOT a reflection of the issues in her life. According to People:

"Even though I'm very happy and I don't have any drama in my life, I didn't want to do another album full of love songs. I did that last time. It's boring," the 25-year-old singer tells Elle in its December issue. The album includes several songs about a cheating boyfriend. One song, "Resentment," includes the lines, "I've been crying for too long/ What did you do to me?/ You lied, you lied, you lied." But Beyoncé insists the songs aren't about her longtime boyfriend, Jay-Z. "I'm sure people will read into that," she tells Elle, "but there's nothing to read into. Sorry to disappoint you!"

Yea, I'm with her. Love songs are boring. That's right up there with my theory that making love is for pussies and should be reserved only for "goodbyes and funerals".

I just want you all to know I’m currently working on an album and it is a reflection of all aspects in my life. The tracks include:

1. All my boyfriends’ wives are mad at me
2. But occifer, it’s medicinal
3. I’ll show you my left one, but the right one is MUCH too powerful for you
4. Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one
5. I’m not eating it, I’m just smelling it
6. Drink me pretty, big-boy
7. What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine

I wear my heart on my sleeve, what can I say.

4 Comments:

Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Ha! Gold, baby! Zanna, who's your A&R? Check out the playlist for me and Beyonce's upcoming Christmas Duets album:

1. Oh No You Didn't
2. Bitch I'm A Cut You
3. You Just Jealous
4. That Threesome Was a Bad Idea
5. You Ain't That Cute
6. Fix Your Weave
7. (The Timeless Classic)Bitch You Owe Me Ten Dollars
...and who could forget...
8. Get Your Hand Out My Face

10:53 AM  
Blogger Zanna said...

That's awesome, Osh! We should start our own group.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Italian Stallion said...

I'd like to give this bitch something to sing about. I'd put my Italian Sausage in her Chocolate cake. Dinner and dessert, bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:19 AM  
Blogger oshkoshb-goshdammgosh said...

Yeah, we could call ourselves the Halfies - Beyonce is 1/2 black, you're 1/2 Cuban, and I was born with half a penis!!! Just kidding, but my pussy is so tight it's like having half a pussy. Wait... what were we talking about?

12:05 PM  

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