FED-EX: ASPIRING HOMELESS

Who has more pride? A homeless person or Fed-Ex? TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned that the world's most famous slacker was already begging for shoes, just a day before Britney Spears pulled the plug on K-Fed's "Fifty Mil" free ride.

While perusing the aisles in a Canadian sporting goods store Monday night, Federbroke hit up a paparazzo for sneaker money: "Can you buy me some shoes?" he asked the perplexed pap.The generous photog smiled, kicked over $120 for a pair of orange and black running shoes, and shot back, "I bet we owe you a couple more pairs." Federline replied, "I bet you do!"

I’m going to say a homeless person has more pride. Over here in the Northeast, homeless people will lie, steal and cheat before they’ll take from you. And strangely enough, I respect that. They’ll freeze to death on a park bench because they refuse to go to a shelter when the temps get below subzero.

Face it, K-Fed sucks at everything he does. He’s going to suck at being homeless too. And one day, I will find K-Fed on a sidewalk with that tin can and a monkey, begging for change so he can buy new sneakers. Preferably it will be a street named Malawi Street. And I’ll tell everyone what a bad street it was and that street doesn't have clean water or Kaballah. And there was a monkey orphan I found on Malawi Street. And I’m going to adopt the monkey because his father can’t afford to give him a good life. Ha ha ha…yeeeaaaaah.